Iris of Destiny
by luniciaa
Summary: A 12-year old Kaneki stumbles onto a female ghoul devouring one of his kind. In a panic, he introduces her to a special new world, one with creativity, imagination, and emotion. But, this world filled with color is overshadowed by darkness, darkness that envelops all emotion. Only through the eyes of another will they prevail through tragedy. Eto x Kaneki
1. Intertwined

Summary: This fanfiction takes place in a Tokyo Ghoul alternate reality where a young Kaneki meets a young Eto. Age gap has changed to two years for convenience. This is also my first fanfiction ever, so sorry if it's not that great. Enjoy!

 _I was a normal bookworm you could find anywhere. I had no outstanding features, nothing that could make me stand out from the rest. It never really bothered me, because I didn't care about what others thought about me, so long as I could enjoy my books in peace._

 _There were a few exceptions, however, because I had one friend named Hide. He was a wild one, since he decided to befriend a nobody that only read books all day. I didn't really question him-because deep inside, I felt happy knowing there was someone who cared about me._

 _My parents? I never really knew my father too well. He died when I was young, and left behind his giant library filled with books. I fell in love with the huge collection, as it was the only remnant left of my father. My mother was always flooded with work, and never had time to care for me. When I did try to garner attention from her, she ended up beating me for getting in her way. I haven't tried to bother her since. I don't want to be a nuisance for anyone._

 _...That's probably the reason why I'm all alone. Today, I'm even more alone because Hide is out somewhere. Not that it's a problem, I'm used to just having my books by my side. ...Except that I had already finished the book I was reading and it was the only book I had brought with me. I should've brought another one..._

Out of boredom, I decided to get up off of the riverbank I was sitting on and wander around the streets of Tokyo. I couldn't go home even though it was late in the afternoon because of the fear my mother inflicted upon me. Instead, I observed buildings, things, people. Everyone had their own daily routine. Not many people have a chance to go outside and enjoy life like this, so I should embrace it while it lasts.

I peered into a dark alleyway on my right due to loud, eerie crunching and chewing noises. I had assumed it was some sort of wild animal... but what appeared in front of me was a bruised and scratched up girl, wearing a torn and ragged cloak. Her most redeeming features were her green hair, which seemed to stand out the most... besides her glowing red eye. It was a "kakugan," something that ghouls, man-eating creatures had as substitute for regular human eyes. This was one of the ways to identify a ghoul, as I had learned from watching a TV show on ghoul physiology.

But having their kakugan out usually means it's too late. It means you're moments away from having your flesh torn apart, your organs ripped like paper, your bones crushed into powder, your life-

 _Oh wait. That's happening to me right now. I'm going to die. I'm going to die? Here? Now? I guess I really didn't accomplish much after all. Whatever, it's not like there'll be people who'll mourn my death... Maybe Hide will. But my mother wouldn't. In fact, she'd probably have less work to do because she wouldn't be trying to sustain herself and her child by herself and overworking herself to the point of-_

[Ghoul: "...That...what is that?"]

My thoughts were interrupted as the female ghoul pointed at the book I was clenching in my arms. At this point, I regained my senses and realized the creature was already eating another human. Maybe it was full and didn't have the need to eat more people. Maybe I could have another chance at life. Maybe... if I could run. I was still paralyzed in fear, knowing I didn't have the courage to haul ass out of the situation. Unfathomably, I ended up replying to the girls question in order to save myself.

[Kaneki: "T-this is a book. Something that can give you, u-uh, knowledge!"]

 _I kept stuttering in fear. I definitely didn't want to die. It's not like I was afraid of death, I'm only scared of the pain._

[Ghoul: "Knowledge...? You mean that _thing_ could make you... smarter?]

 _I was quite amazed to realize that there were those who didn't know what books were. But I guess that's how it is for those who live in isolation, like ghouls._

I quickly responded to save myself.

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah! And not only that, it could make you feel a lot of emotions, like happiness, sadness, and... umm"]

 _My mind wandered off. Why was I getting so excited from describing my only hobby to someone I had just met? And, to make matters worse, to a ghoul? What was I doing?_

It seemed my stalling had worked, though. The female ghoul's curious expression transformed into a faint smile, which had surprised me. Did it work? I guess it did.

[Ghoul: "Happiness... huh. I want to feel that too."]

 _I guess even ghouls had emotions too. I mean, they were just like humans, except they ate humans._

I didn't know how to respond to her curiosity, until I stumbled upon a great idea.

[Kaneki: "Then, why don't you take this book then! I-I already finished it, so it's not like I have a use for it or anything..."]

 _My voice trailed off. Where was I going with this? Why would a ghoul, interested only in human meat, take a liking to books? It made no sense to me, but maybe this ghoul was different. After witnessing her curiosity, I decided to help her while also trying to save myself._

[Ghoul: "Really? I can't read that well, though..."]

 _She seemed to be excited for a moment, but I couldn't tell. I wasn't all that shocked when she said she couldn't read; it was to be expected from a ghoul. ...I should probably stop objectifying ghouls like this. I know they're just like humans now, especially after a conversation with one._

 _...I want to help her. She seems interested in books, the only thing that helped me stay sane throughout all these years. I also felt a strange spark when I told her what books were. It wouldn't hurt to teach a ghoul how to read right? They're capable of thoughts and emotions; happiness isn't something that should be restricted to those who want to feel it. Just a little bit... just a little bit would be fine right? This wasn't about just saving myself anymore, I want to introduce someone else to something I love._

[Kaneki: "I could teach you how to read... I mean, it's all I do, s-so I think it would be fun to teach someone else about it! I-if you don't want to, then that's okay too!"]

 _I was doing it out of selfishness. I wanted to introduce people to the world of books, the world I enjoyed by myself. It made me so happy; why was I only keeping it to myself? Truth be told, I just wanted someone to read them with, someone to understand what it feels like to be me._

[Ghoul: "But, you're a human, and I eat your kind. Why would you go this far for someone like me?"]

 _I already knew the answer to this question. After all, I already thought about it and I knew for sure why I wanted to do this._

[Kaneki: "Because... I want to see you become happy. Everyone deserves a chance to experience it, even ghouls! That's why I want to help you learn how to read. ...So you can feel the same happiness that I feel."]

 _The ghoul was surprised after hearing these words from me. I was surprised too! I didn't know I had the courage in me to say something like this... but I did._

[Ghoul: "R-really...? That's the first time someone's ever said something like that to me, let alone a human... but I'll accept your offer. I want to see this happiness you talk about for myself."]

 _I was genuinely delighted to hear this, but also a little bit frightened. What if she just decides to eat me randomly? ...Whatever, I'm too deep in this to back out now. This is definitely a change of pace for me... I don't want this opportunity to pass. Who knows what'll happen in the future? Maybe she'll become a famous novelist or something. Just kidding! There's no way that would happen._

I noticed her expression while she said her last sentence. She seemed a little bit embarassed and actually... _happy._ Her smile was quite delightful to see, especially after the dark and gloomy first impression I had of her. She was pretty cute like that, too... I want to see more of it. I want to see her be happy... not only with books, but with the _world._ I want to show her this unexplored vastness outside of her shell. Even though... I still haven't gotten out of _my_ own shell. Slowly but surely though, I am climbing out of it, and along with me, will come someone else... I hope.

[Ghoul: "My name is Eto. Thank you... thank you, for helping someone like me."]

[Kaneki: "Ahh... no worries. My name is Kaneki. Kaneki Ken. ...I hope we'll get along."]

 _ **Chapter 1 ~ Intertwined**_

 **END**


	2. Prosperous Sunflower

We sat on the empty flower field, oblivious to everything around us except for each other and the book in front of us.

[Kaneki: "This is the kanji for 'friend'. I'm sure you know what a friend is, right?"]

[Eto: "A friend? ...You mean, someone like you?"]

 _H-huh?! What was she talking about?! ...Well, it wouldn't be strange of her to think of me as a friend. It's been two weeks since our meeting in the alleyway, and since then we've decided to meet up on Saturdays in the afternoon. We found a good spot to read together, a large flower field that was devoid of people, so we took the area for ourselves. On these meetings, I brought a book with me and read with Eto until she heard a word that she didn't recognize. I teach her the word and explain what it means, and every time I did this, a spark of interest glimmered on her face. It was wonderful to see another person immersed in my world._

[Kaneki: "A-ah, yeah, I guess I am your friend. I didn't know you thought of me like that."]

 _I couldn't wait for Saturdays. I was always eager to see Eto and to witness her development. She was a quick learner and understood things on the first explanation. I also told Hide about this, and he was actually happy to know that I made another friend, despite it being a ghoul. For some reason though, he insisted that he should not be introduced to her, and that our relationship be solely restricted to just her and I. I didn't quite understand, but I accepted his request anyway._

[Eto: "Yeah! After all, you see me every week and show me all these fun new things... it makes me happy when I can see you. That's what it means to be a friend, right?"]

 _The words that came out of her mouth hit me hard. It made me feel so warm, so soft inside. She looked straight into my eyes when she said it, too. Even though she was always battered up and beaten, Eto was always surprisingly... cute. Maybe because she was older than me by 2 years, which made her look more mature compared to someone like me. I want to see more of her smile. If she really considers me as a friend, then that means I can make her even happier!_

[Kaneki: "O-oh... I'm happy whenever I can meet up with you like this too. I guess that does make you my friend."]

[Eto: "Friends, huh... that makes you my first then!"]

 _She was so much happier now when compared to 2 weeks ago. Eto is starting to be more and more cheerful, her smiles are becoming a lot more apparent, and her vocabulary is improving. On our first meeting, her eyes were dead... she looked empty inside. She couldn't speak all that well either. I'm beginning to see a lot more color emanating from her. This wasn't only because of me; Eto was slowly opening herself up to me, as if she was hiding her radiance from others. ...I wonder if she treats anyone else like this... I-I hope not. It's not like I don't want her to open up! I just want to see this side of her for myself... just for a bit._

[Eto: "...You'll be my friend forever, won't you?"]

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah... don't worry about it. I don't have any reason to leave you alone. I enjoy these sessions a lot, too!"]

We sat on the flower field and indulged in our activies for a couple more hours that felt like mere minutes. Of course, we took breaks in between, but she was always rough. Eto would always nudge and tackle me playfully, much to my embarassment. I'm not complaining though, it just means she's becoming more comfortable with me.

[Kaneki: "I think it's time for us to leave now, Eto. The sun is setting!]

 _I had realized the sun was going down a while ago. I didn't bring it up because I wanted my time with Eto to last longer. I would even stay with her for the whole night, but my mother wanted me to come home by nightfall. I guess somewhere deep inside her, she still cared for my wellbeing. I'm not sure what Eto does after we part ways, but she probably does... ghoul stuff. I don't like thinking about it._

[Eto: "I'll see you next week then, Kaneki. ...Actually, there's one more thing I wanted to ask. When we first met, in the alleyway, why didn't you run away from me?"]

 _I knew she would have brought this up eventually. I just didn't expect it to be now. I don't want to say it was because I was paralyzed in fear, because I don't want to look like a coward... I'll have to say what was really going through my mind when it happened._

[Kaneki: "U-uh, well... It was because there were so many thoughts running through my head, that I didn't actually know what to do. But then, you asked me about my book, which made me feel really happy. Plus, I wouldn't have really minded dying right then and there anyway! H-hahaha..."]

 _It's true. I was miserable. I couldn't say that I would've had any regrets, because I actually didn't. Dying without leaving a mark in the world, the world would still go on just as it did normally before I died. Nothing would have changed._

[Eto: "Fufufu, Kaneki Ken... you're a really interesting human, you know that? But, I want you to change that mindset of yours. ...I don't want you dying on me, just because you felt like it."]

 _Well, that's one more person to add to the list of people who said they cared about me. If this list keeps getting any bigger, I probably will have to change my way of thinking anyhow. I don't really think it will though. All the people I've befriended are strange coincidences, people that wouldn't have cared about me before I met them. It's just pure luck that they managed to become a part of my life._

 _ **[Eto: "...If you can't live for yourself, then I'll give you something worth living for."]**_

... _Huh? My thoughts drew to a blank. What did she just say?_ _Th-that's not right, there's no way anyone would do something like that for me. Maybe she's just talking about something else, and I'm getting ahead of myself. After all, she said it in a teasing manner. It's possible she's just playing around with me... Aghhh! Why am I overthinking so damn hard! She's walking away now, I have to say something..._

[Kaneki: "H-hey, wait a secon-"]

Eto turns around and puts a finger on my lips.

[Eto: "Shhh, silly Kaneki. Don't overthink. You know full well what I meant. Or do you? Hahahaha! ...I'll see you next week!"]

 _I was left speechless. I couldn't react. I watched as she faded away into the distance, skipping happily. This feeling... I couldn't describe it. It wasn't like the happiness me and Eto shared. It was more intimate, softer and warmer than anything I had ever felt before. Maybe it was the so-called "love" I've read about in books. ...Nah, that couldn't be it. There's no way I could feel something like that towards a ghoul... especially to someone like Eto._

 _She kept saying ambiguous things, to the point where I don't understand what she's saying. She's like a bag full of surprises. Completely unpredictable. I guess it wouldn't hurt to take her words to heart, though. Something worth living for... it'd be like something straight out of a fairy tale. Thinking about it now, it doesn't sound so bad..._

 _Anything is worth living for, if you care enough about it. Something like this open field of flowers, completely rid of the obscenities of the world... Just something as simple as that would be enough. ...I wonder if she would live for me, too..._

 _ **Chapter 2 ~ Prosperous Sunflower**_

 **END**


	3. Obscenity

Three weeks later, the seasons changed from autumn to winter. It was a cold and cloudy day. The atmosphere was gloomy and the landscape seemed to be less colorful. Everything looked... gray, as if it were a monotone scene in a movie, where it would be cliche to have something bad happen.

 _I wonder if Eto is going to come today... It looks like it's going to rain any minute now. I, of course, being so eager, decided to ignore the weather and come anyway. I was always the first to be here, before Eto. Maybe I shouldn't have came after all..._

I saw a ragged, hooded figure in the distance.

 _It looked like Eto, since she always wore the same torn cloak all the time. It was strange, though. If it really were Eto, she would have been running over to me while having the biggest grin on her face. But now, she was walking slowly towards me. Did something happen?_

I decided to walk towards her.

[Eto: "Kaneki... I don't really feel... so great... I'm... hungry. I couldn't find anything to eat..."]

Astonished, I backed away.

 _I-is she going to try to eat me? No, that couldn't be. I was her friend after all._

[Kaneki: "Eh?! B-but there's plenty of humans around! There's no way you wouldn't be able to get some!"]

[Eto: "There's... lots of CCG investigators around, for some reason. I can't eat when there's so many..."]

 _It was true_. _I had noticed a big increase in the CCG here in our ward. I didn't know why, but I overheard that they were searching for some sort of "binge eater"._

[Kaneki: "What'll you do then?! Ghouls have to eat, right...? ...Or else they'll go crazy! And then, you might e-eat me if you lose control of yourself!"]

[Eto: "I'm sorry, Kaneki, but... I have to eat something. I'm not going to kill you... just a small bite on your shoulder or something, please... Or else, I might really kill you, on accident..."]

 _T-that's going to hurt, right?! I was never too fond of pain. That's why I always read books instead of playing sports or something! ..But I feel like I have no choice but to help Eto here. I can trust her. She won't kill me. And I heard that if a ghoul starves, the sensation is painful and completely unbearable. I don't want her to go through that kind of suffering. I'll do this... just for her._

I exposed my left shoulder, pulling my clothing away from it.

[Kaneki: "...Fine. I-I'll let you-"]

 **AAAAAGGHHHH!**

I howled in pain. Eto suddenly dived onto me, like a savage beast. No hesitation, no warning. As soon as she saw my naked flesh, her primal instincts were activated.

It stung. It was probably the most excruciating pain I've ever felt in my life. The blood kept flowing down my arm and splashed onto my neck. Eto sucked on the open wound to replenish herself with my blood.

I closed my eyes. I waited for the pain to stop. I still felt the blood trickling down my body and staining my clothes. How would I explain this to my mother? ...Whatever.

Eventually, I opened my eyes and saw Eto looking at me, with one of her kakugan activated and her face stained with my fresh blood. Her eyes welled up with tears, until she started sobbing.

[Eto: "I-I'm sorry, Kaneki... *sob* I-I didn't mean to hurt you... I just... I just wanted to... I don't know..."]

Her voice trailed off as her crying continued.

 _W-what do I do now? I could still barely comprehend the situation at hand. The pain still lingered, although the blood had stopped flowing. There was another problem though, and it was Eto. Why was she crying? Did she really not want to hurt me? She must have tried so hard to suppress her ghoul desires. It's my job now to try and comfort her. I don't want her to be crying because of me. I wanted to see her smile, and it's my fault that she's like this. I have to fix it._

[Kaneki: "E-Eto, don't cry. You're a ghoul, so having to eat humans is normal, right? It's okay, you didn't have a choice... And I let you have a bite out of me because I wanted to help you. It's not like you didn't have my permission, or anything like that. I understand what you have to do... so, cheer up. I-I don't wanna see you like this."]

 _I hope what I said worked. I'm not a ghoul, so I really don't actually understand how it would feel to be one..._

[Eto: "...But, I'm not really a full ghoul. I'm a half-ghoul. I could eat human food... It's just, I have to eat human flesh in order to sustain my ghoul side..."]

 _A half ghoul? I guess that explains the one kakugan she has on her right eye._

[Kaneki: "A h-half-ghoul? How does that even happen? Are there others like you?"]

[Eto: "...It happens when you have a ghoul father and a human mother. As far as I know, I'm the only one of my kind..."]

 _Only one of her kind? That means, she couldn't be compared to just a ghoul or human. Eto is between those two. How would it feel, not being able to belong on either side? Maybe that's why she was so alone before I met her... because no one would accept her for who she was, simply because she wasn't a human nor a ghoul._

[Kaneki: "...Well, that doesn't really change how I look at you. Human, ghoul, half-ghoul, whatever you are, you're still my friend, right?"]

There were no more tears trickling down Eto's face. She looked... shocked. There was a brief moment of silence before she spoke again.

[Eto: "H-hey... I've, I've never met someone like you before. You... might just be the bridge of coexistence between humans and ghouls. A human, willing to accept a half-ghoul, a creature who has no calling... You... you really are something else."]

 _Bridge of coexistence? ...Isn't that going a bit too far? A position like that is meant to be for a hero, and as far as I know, I'm no hero. I'm just... I'm just a normal human being. It doesn't matter to me who, or what you are. After all, I too, am a social outcast..._

[Kaneki: "...I don't really think I'm that special. The real bridge of coexistence here, is... you, isn't it? You're one of a kind. Someone who's involved in and understands both ways of life. It's not that you don't belong, it's just you don't have anything like you in this world to help realize your potential."]

 _I'm not the protagonist of a story. That title would go to someone like Eto, who was born with no place to call home in a conflicted world. But, anyone would feel lonely living like that. That's why, that's why I'm here to help her._

[Eto: "...No. You're not some supporting character in a story. I'm not the only one with potential here... you have just as much as me."]

 _Me...? I always thought of myself as a background character. Average at best. That I could never amount to anything in life._

[Eto: "Hey, Kaneki. How about a proposal? You and I, together, we'll make the world a better place! Sounds fun, doesn't it?"]

 _Huh?! Isn't that a little bit too ambitious?! At least, it looks like Eto has returned to her original self. There's no way she could be serious about this._

[Eto: "And then we'll become leaders of a group who'll change the world! Let's name it... hmm... Aogiri Tree!"]

 _Aogiri Tree...? She just combined two random words I told her about! ...It sounds nice, though. I'll play along with her for a bit._

[Kaneki: "Don't you think it'd be pretty hard for a group of people to singlehandedly change the world? I don't think something like that is possible."]

[Eto: "Hmm, but didn't you just say that I had potential? What happened to that? You're contradicting yourself, Ka-ne-ki~"]

 _Dammit, I never should have taught her those things. She's using it against me now! I guess she's applying what she's learned from me, though. It's probably a good thing._

[Kaneki: "...Okay, jeez, you got me there. Just a moment ago, you were eating my flesh, and now you're teasing me. What happened to _that_ , huh?"]

 _My clothes were soaked in blood. The wound was still fresh, and the pain didn't really go away._

[Eto: "Aww, I'm really sorry. I'll make sure to repay you someday though. ...I mean, you pretty much saved my life... Thank you. I mean it."]

 _Well, she got mushy there all of a sudden. She should show that side of her more instead of just teasing me._

[Kaneki: "Well, it really hurt, so you better pay me back! ...But I was just doing what a good friend would do, that's all."]

 _To be honest, if the problem arose again, I wouldn't mind letting her eat a piece of me again. If it's for her, I wouldn't have to think twice_ _about it._

[Eto: "Hehe, you're really kind, you know that? That's exactly what I like about you!"]

My face turned bright red.

 _W-w-what? What did she mean by-_

[Eto: "And I also enjoy seeing reactions like _that_!"]

She kept giggling as I was left unable to respond to her teasing.

 _Honestly... I don't know if she really means what she says or she's just hiding them with her playfulness. It still feels like Eto could read my mind, because everything she says is always spot on._

[Eto: "By the way, you're really tasty! Hehe~! I wouldn't mind getting one more bite in!"]

[Kaneki: "...The next time you're starving to death, I'm not letting you have a piece of me."]

[Eto: "A-ah... I'm sorry! But really though, your blood was _soooo_ delicious and-"]

[Kaneki: "Okay, that's enough now, Eto. Do you want to read with me or not?"]

[Eto: "O-oh! Yes, of course!"]

 _If it comes to this, I usually threaten her by saying I won't read with her. She always takes the bait, because if anything, I know she's just as excited as me._

We sat on the isolated flowerbed, which seemed to be completely separated from the rest of the world. Nothing could interrupt us, as we were already immersed in our own fantasy universe.

The clouds began to clear up. It didn't rain, surprisingly enough. Streaks of light began to emerge from the cracks in the clouds, illuminating the ground below it. It was as if the sky parted, and was smiling at us.

[Kaneki: "The sky next to tragedy... is always a clear blue."]

[Eto: "Hmm, I wonder what the author meant by putting that sentence in there?"]

[Kaneki: "It's a literary device called 'foreshadowing'. It's usually used to predict future events that happen later on in the story."]

[Eto: "Oh, I get it! So they're saying, there'll be a happy end, right?"]

[Kaneki: "Hmm... foreshadowing can sometimes be used to confuse the reader as well, Eto."]

After all, no one can predict the ending of a story.

 _ **Chapter 3 ~ Obscenity**_

 **END**


	4. Reflection

**One Month After Chapter 3**

 _Our lives had continued normally. We kept seeing each other on Saturdays, getting closer and closer. We still had our outside lives to worry about, though._

 _My mother has been even more stressed out lately. Her hair has begun to turn white, and she often falls asleep while working. I really want to help her, but she told me not to get in her way. My aunt always asks her for money, and my mother has no choice but to give it up even though we're already struggling hard enough. I didn't understand the reason why. Was it really that hard to say no?_

 _Hide keeps asking me about how Eto and I have been. He's strangely curious about our friendship, even though he's the one that said he didn't want to be involved in it. He asks me weird things like, "Do you think she's cute?" or "Do you like her?" I never responded to those types of questions. Even I don't quite understand how I feel about Eto myself..._

 _I want to ask Eto about her past, and her parents. Thinking about it now, I don't really know much about her, besides the fact that she's a half ghoul. I should ask her the next time we see each other._

 _Today was a Thursday. I was at home, doing nothing except read, since that was really all I could do at the moment. My mother was hard at work, as usual. When she came home from her other job, she still continued to do at-home work to generate more money. It must've been hard._

 _...I should check up on her. Even though she told me not to get in her way, I want to help, just a little bit. Anything to lift the weight off her shoulders._

I exited my room, and walked down the hallway towards the living room, where my mother worked.

[Kaneki: "Mom...? Are you okay?"]

I asked this as I entered the room. However, I didn't get a response. Instead, my mother was slumped over her desk, motionless.

 _Did she fall asleep? It was pretty common of her to do so. I guess I should wake her up... she was always frustrated when she woke up and realized her work wasn't completed._

I shook her slightly by the shoulders to wake up.

[Kaneki: "Mom... wake up. ...You still have some more work to do. I can help you, if you want..."]

There was no response. Her body didn't move or react in the slightest.

 _Maybe she was really exhausted. I should probably let her rest some more then..._

I walked out of the room and was going to enjoy my books back in my own room, until I suddenly hesitated.

 _Could she really be... just sleeping? Usually when I shook her like that, she woke up almost instantly. Her body seemed to be eerily... motionless. Was she even breathing? I read somewhere that it was possible to die from overwork. ...I should hurry and check up on her again._

This time, instead of walking, I ran. I ran down the hallway, frightened.

[Kaneki: "M-mom! Wake up!"]

I was shaking her violently. Still, no response.

In a panic, I tried to listen to her heartbeat.

 _Please, please, please let there be something... anything!_

My ears were devoid of any sound.

... _No. This couldn't be. This couldn't be happening. I knew my mother cared about me, but treated me like she did to keep me safe. She wouldn't be working so hard if it weren't for me... I could have helped her. I could have forced her to let me help her. But I didn't. I didn't, and now my mother is dead. ...It's all my fault, isn't it?_

 _ **"...It's better to be hurt than it is to hurt others".**_

 _This was something my mother always said... Was it really true? My mother carried everything on her own shoulders, even to death... What's the point in that? Doesn't that just mean you're weak? ...No... My mother wasn't weak. She was the complete opposite. It was through her own willpower, that she was able to sustain herself and her child through poverty. She was the strongest woman I knew..._

Before I knew it, tears began streaming down my face like an endless waterfall.

 _What... what do I do now? I relied on my mother so much and neglected her when she needed me. ...I-I can't do anything on my own._

My mind was a complete jumbled mess. I couldn't think straight. Instead, I began to uncontrollably sob and cry.

 **DAMMIT! DAMMIT! IT'S ALL M-MY FAULT... *sob* I-I CAN'T DO A DAMN THING! WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY ME...**

 **AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!**

My senseless cries echoed throughout the house for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't comprehend anything. I just... sat there, crying, while my mother was dead in front of me.

[Voice: "K-Kaneki, is that you?"]

 _Huh? Someone was at the door. Who could it be?_

I wiped my tears and got up to open the door.

[Voice: "Kaneki, what's wrong?"]

... _It was my aunt. Why did I expect it to be someone like Hide or Eto? It was just... my aunt. She probably came to ask for money today, again..._

[Kaneki: "M-mom is... mom is... *sob*"]

I couldn't get the words out of mouth. Instead, I pointed over to the desk, where my mother's corpse lied.

[Kaneki's Aunt: "O-oh my god! I-I'll call an ambulance! Kaneki, stay here!"]

Everything that happened after that didn't matter. Some people came in and took my mother away while I stood and watched. My aunt told me I'd have to live with her since I had nowhere else to go.

 _...I didn't care. I didn't care in the slightest._ _Why does it matter now?_

 _...It was Friday, and my things were getting moved to the house I was staying in. It was even more monotone than before. It seemed like everyone there despised me. How would my aunt even deal with me if she had to ask my mother for cash? It didn't matter. I didn't get along with anyone there. No one tried talking to me. I was just... there. ...I was only fed one meal. I didn't say anything about that. I just accepted it._

 _...At least, I still had tomorrow to look forward to. Something worth living for... It seems what Eto said before finally began to make sense. Seeing her meant more to me than my own life. ...I'll live. I'll decide to keep on living this vividless life, only for that brief surge of happiness I feel when I see Eto._

I fell asleep that Friday night thinking about her.

 _She really is the light of my world. She makes my world feel so vibrant and colorful, just like how I am to her. ...I should be more grateful to her. I'll express how I feel to her... tomorrow._

 **Saturday**

 _It was finally Saturday, the day I had been waiting for all this time. I simply told my aunt that I was going out, and she allowed me to leave. All she said was to come back by nightfall._

 _I clutched the book we were reading in my arms. I was walking toward the vacant flower field, but to my surprise, I saw Eto already there, waiting for me. ...Well, it did take me a while to get out of bed. I'm still trying to cope with what happened to my mother._

I slowly walked towards her with my head down.

[Eto: "Hey, Kaneki~! How've you been?"]

 _It was strange of her to engage in small talk. I guess I'll tell her what happened, because I want her to know how I've been feeling lately._

[Kaneki: "I-I... My mom passed away a couple of d-days ago..."]

 _Saying those words, I couldn't help but begin to feel teary-eyed. I tried my hardest to stop the tears from coming out._

There was an eerie moment of silence. Eto didn't say anything for a while. ...I kept my head down. I didn't want her to see the tears in my eyes.

[Eto: "I-I... Where will you go now? Do you have a place to stay?"]

I saw her clench her fists. Why? Was she angry? I couldn't tell what she was feeling.

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah... I stay at my aunt's house. I-It's not too great there..."]

[Eto: "...I'm sorry. I know how it feels to lose your parents. I was orphaned at birth..."]

 _Eto was... an orphan? That must mean she never really knew her parents. Thrown into this twisted world by herself... how did she find the will to live?_

[Kaneki: "O-oh... Did anyone raise you? You couldn't have lived alone like that."]

 _Imagine that, living all by yourself from birth. It couldn't be possible. Someone had to have raised her._

[Eto: "There was, actually. His name was... Noroi. H-he died a couple years ago, though..."]

 _So... I'm not the only one that has experienced this kind of suffering. Eto has dealt with so much more, but instead of using it as an excuse for her wrongdoings, she uses her pain to empower herself._

[Kaneki: "O-oh... I... see. Let's get to reading now, then."]

 _Our conversation felt incredibly... awkward. I don't know why, but Eto looked really uncomfortable, twiddling her fingers and stumbling about._

[Eto: "Hey, Kaneki... Are you really okay? I know how it feels to be hurt. I-I'm here if you want someone to understand."]

 _Again... It feels like she's speaking directly to my heart. How does she always know what to say? I want her to understand me. I want her to be... even closer to me._

Before I knew it, tears began streaming down my face.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... I-I... Thank you... I don't know w-what'd I do without you..."]

Bawling, I fell into Eto's arms as she embraced me tightly.

[Eto: "A-ah... I-It's alright, Kaneki. ...I wouldn't know what to do without you, either. I'd still be... alone, with no purpose in this world."]

Eto put her hand atop of my head and stroked my hair, gently and softly. It was reminscent to what my mother used to do when I was younger.

 _Jeez, I'm such a crybaby. Here I am, letting all my emotions out to the arms of someone I love... that's right. Love. I realized during this moment that the feelings I harbored towards Eto weren't just mere friendship. The happiness I felt was something else. Something stronger and warmer than the happiness I felt with Hide._

[Eto: "...You know, I wasn't too sure how to react when you told me your mother passed away. I didn't know if I should have comforted you or not. ...But, I didn't want to see you bearing all that pain on your shoulders. It's good to have someone help soften the suffering, right?"]

 _...I told her something like that a while ago, during one of our previous sessions. It's so... ironic._

Eto was kneeling on the quiet flowerbed, with my head in her lap.

 _She's so... warm. I feel like I could stay here forever._

[Kaneki: "...Yeah. After all, I saved you too, didn't I? When we first met, you looked like you were dead. But now, you're a lot happier, aren't you?"]

A soft, complacent smile formed on Eto's face.

[Eto: "Yup! It's all 'cause of you that I'm here now! And now, it's my turn to save you in return."]

My tears had dried up. I got up off of her lap, looked straight towards Eto.

[Eto: "Hmm? What is it, Ka-"]

I hugged her tightly in my arms. I felt her warm body press against mine as I embraced her. We remained like this for a while. No words, just pure silence.

After a moment of shock and realization, Eto smiled and put her arms around me.

[Eto: "Jeez... I didn't know you had it in you to do something like this."]

 _I don't know where I got the courage to suddenly hug a girl like that, but I just felt so overcome with emotion that I did it on instinct. I didn't want to lose her. I don't want Eto to leave my side. I want her here, with me, for as long as possible._

I pulled away, and smiled at her.

[Kaneki: "It's all because of you that I was able to do that!"]

[Eto: "...Well, I wouldn't really mind if you did it again... Just tell me next time!"]

[Kaneki: "Hehe... S-sorry about that..."]

 _I wonder if Eto knows what love feels like. Does she feel the same way towards me? ...Probably not. She probably can't tell the difference between friendship and love. ...To be honest, it's not really all that different at all._

[Eto: "Kaneki, you're really cute when you smile, you know that?"]

I blushed for a moment, but quickly regained control of my senses.

[Eto: "...Hmph. That's payback..."]

 _...What did she say? I couldn't hear her well, she uttered that last part under her breath._

[Kaneki: "What did you just whisper?"]

A smug grin appeared on Eto's face.

[Eto: "...I didn't say anything. Nothing at all!"]

[Kaneki: "...Okay, then. Let's get reading now, shall we?"]

[Eto: "Yaaaaaay~!"]

It was less of me teaching her, and more of us just reading together. Only occasionally did a word that she did not recognize appeared.

We continued, just like this, shoulders inexplicably touching, with her head resting on my shoulder.

[Kaneki: "...Are you tired, Eto? ...Maybe, hungry?"]

[Eto: "H-huh?! No, I'm not hungry! I'm just sleepy, that's all!"]

 _It sure did feel good to give her a taste of her own medicine once in a while._

[Eto: "...But if you're so willing to let me get a piece of you, then..."]

I glared straight at Eto's eyes.

[Eto: "H-hehe... sorry."]

 ** _Chapter 4 ~ Reflection_**

 **END**


	5. Bloodshot

**T** **hree Months After Chapter 4**

 _Eto and I have been getting pretty close now. We even see each other when it's not Saturday whenever we're free._ _She's trying to incorporate herself into human life instead of living on the streets. I've been telling her about the way humans live, and that she would have to find a human hobby that she would enjoy._ _She said she thought being an author would be a nice hobby. ...To be honest, it doesn't seem too far out of her reach._

Eto was sitting in front of me, drinking her coffee. We were in a café, enjoying ourselves and talking about our lives.

Eto had found herself a place to stay and had gotten a part-time job during the day to help sustain herself. Instead of wearing her usual torn cloak, she was wearing casual clothes and tied her long, green hair into a simple bun.

 _I had told her about a great coffee place called Anteiku, and recommended that we should go there. ...However, Eto immediately shot down the idea for some reason. It was obvious to me that maybe there was someone linked to her past there, and that I shouldn't delve too deep into it. She was currently living in some run down apartment by herself, with small income for basic needs. It was strange that a 14-year old would be living alone by herself, but Eto managed to make up an excuse for those that asked._

 _To anyone that were looking at us right now, it would look like we were a couple on a date. ...Actually, it probably wouldn't. We were just kids hanging around. The only one who thought we looked like a couple, was me. When Eto actually started to wear normal clothing, I found myself captivated at her appearance. She was actually tons more beautiful than I thought. ...And I had already thought she was cute enough, looking all battered up._

[Eto: "...Hmm, Kaneki... why are you blushing?"]

 _My face turned bright red whenever I thought about Eto like that. ...I should consider having more self control._

[Kaneki: "A-ah... it's nothing..."]

 _I'm pretty sure Eto already knew what I was thinking. I still decided to hide it out of embarassment._

[Eto: "Hehehe... Well, it's starting to get dark out, so I should be going now."]

 _We were in this café for quite a while. Talking about books, philosophy, and anything else that came to our minds. ...It felt like I could talk to Eto about anything. It's so fun when she's here, by my side._

[Kaneki: "Oh... okay. I'll see you soon, then."]

 _Eto told me the days and times of when she's free. Since we have no way of contact, I often show up at her apartment to spend time together. She always said her free time was boring without me anyway._

[Eto: "...Be safe, Kaneki. There's a lot of ghouls around lately."]

[Kaneki: "E-eh...? I-I will..."]

 _She was worried about me. I always notice whenever she shows her subtle side. Her tone becomes softer, and her face more gentle. Eto was being serious._

Eto walked out the door first, and I paid for the coffee with my allowance. To get back home faster, I often took shortcuts through alleyways. Today was no different, except for the fact that it was already almost night.

 _I always hate walking through these alleys... It's probably because I first met Eto in one. While it had a positive outcome, the shock was something I never wanted to experience again._

 **BAM!**

A loud, frightening noise echoed from directly in front of me. I backed away and looked straight, to see some sort of manifestation of organic material.

 _This... this is a kagune! ...A ghoul's weapon! Eto has showed me her own before. This means... a ghoul is trying to kill me... trying to eat me... but I won't be paralyzed in fear like last time. I'll rationalize my thoughts. I should find a way out of here, quickly._

I examined the area of impact.

 _The kagune had penetrated the wall of the building to my left, creating a large crater that definitely would have killed me. I couldn't run straight ahead; the kagune and ghoul were right there. ...I'll go back the way I came._

I darted and ran as fast as I could towards the other direction, until another kagune appeared and trapped me, creating another loud smashing sound.

 _It seems this ghoul could control their kagune... It had split into two, connected to the walls, trapping me in between them. There was no means of escape; I had to fight._

[Ghoul: "...Sorry, a ghoul's gotta eat when they have to."]

Another kagune shot out from behind the ghoul, barely missing my head by an inch.

 _This... This is real. This isn't like the situation with Eto. This ghoul had the intent to kill. I had to try and defend myself._

Making note of the cooldown of his kagune, I ran straight towards him with a fist.

 _Eto taught me some basic fighting strategies. If I were to ever get in a situation like this, I'd be easy prey as I would be paralyzed in fear. But this time, I knew how to fight back._

The punch connected directly to the ghoul's gut.

[Ghoul: "Pfft... That tickles, you know."]

 _Damn it... I'm not strong enough... Now what? I was running out of options._

The ghoul gave me no time to think and swept his kagune by my feet, tripping me and making me fall on my back. Now, I was in a hopeless state.

 _I... I can't. I can't die here. I have something worth living for. It's not like before when I had no qualms about dying. I want to live. ...For her. Please..._

The colorful kagune sprang out towards me, going straight for my stomach. I rolled over instinctively, dodging the lethal hit.

I pulled myself up, and tried to hit an uppercut straight to the ghoul's jaw.

[Ghoul: "...You know, I really don't get why humans fight back. They already know they have no chance, so they should just sit back and let me eat them... makes it a lot easier, by the way."]

[Kaneki: "I-I... *pant* It's because... some people don't want to die like this... We have responsibilities... unlike... you..."]

My fist was still connected to his jaw. I was trembling in fear, sweating in the face of death.

 _...I don't...wanna... di-_

A grotesque, blood curdling sound echoed throughout my ears. Before I knew it, his kagune lashed out, and pierced my arm.

 **AAAAAAAAAAAGHH!**

I screamed, loud enough for everyone to hear. It wasn't like the scream I let out when my mother died, this was a yell of pure pain. The kagune went straight through my forearm. I couldn't do anything but watch as the blood spurted out onto my face.

 _...I really messed up now, didn't I? Something bad always happens to me. Did I deserve it? I don't know. I never really knew why these things happen. I just... accepted it. Accepted all the pain I was given, like I was obligated to._

[Kaneki: " **G-god... god dammit...! I-I c-cant...** "]

My life was fading away. The pain was so excruciating, I couldn't handle all of it. My flesh, my bones, all if it were ripped apart as if it were paper. I could hear the sound of my own heartbeat. I could smell the sweet blood on my face. I could feel the pain of my blood spraying out of my arm. I could see... death, itself.

[Kaneki: " **E-Eto... I...** "]

 _She told me to be safe. I couldn't even keep that promise. I really am just a failure. I can't live up to anyone's expectations... no matter how hard I tried._

[Ghoul: "...How pathetic. Weak until the very end. I only needed this much to tell that you were a cowar-"]

 **SPLAT!**

 _H-huh... What... what was that?_

I felt more blood on my face. I mustered the rest of my remaining strength to look up at the ghoul.

 _His head... his head was... gone?! Completely decapitated._ _I couldn't find it on the ground anywhere. ...That means, it must have went flying out of view..._

In place of the ghoul's head lied a vibrant kagune, decorated with fresh blood.

 _This kagune... I recognize it. It's... Eto's. She must have heard my screams and came to save me..._

[Eto: " **AAAAAAAHH... SHITTY DUMB TRASH, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE LAY A HAND ON MY KANEKI... DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT, I'LL KILL YOU, I'LL CRUSH YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES AND THEN EAT YOU LIKE THE GARBAGE YOU ARE. SCUM LIKE YOU DONT HAVE THE RIGHT TO LIVE. DIE. DIE. DIE. DIE.** "]

 _What... what is this? Her eyes were completely bloodshot, filled with rage. She kept stabbing the already dead body with her kagune. More and more blood kept coming out of the lifeless body. I didn't even know what Eto was saying. She was still spewing out insults, but it was nearly indecipherable as she started to begin spouting gibberish._

Eto's kagune kept pounding the ghoul's guts. Over and over, the bloodshed never ended. It lasted for what seemed like an eternity. The kagune kept going in and out of its body, mashing the torso into bits and pieces. It slammed into the body until there was nothing left but pieces of bone and blood everywhere.

[Eto: " **AHAHAHAHA! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, IDIOT. I'LL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL SO YOU CAN DIE OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. I'LL MAKE IT SO THAT YOU CAN NEVER EVER TOUCH, HEAR, TASTE, SEE, OR SMELL HIM EVER EVER EVER. NO NO NO NO NO NO MORE, THIS ISN'T ENOUGH PUNISHMENT FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE, PLEASE DIE MORE PLEEEAASEE!** "]

 _I-I... I can't. I can't comprehend what's happening. No one bothered to come check the situation. Everyone on the streets looked, and ran away in fear. Some decided to call the CCG. I... couldn't do anything. I couldn't move, I could only witness this horror happen right in front of me. My clothes were all soaked in blood. There were no remains of that ghoul's body. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. My eye's peeled open. Why was Eto doing this? She wanted to protect me, I get that... but this? This is too much. She cared for me that much? ...It doesn't matter.I should be grateful, because if Eto weren't here right now, I'd already be dead._

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... s-stop..."]

Eto suddenly stopped. She looked at me for a moment, then her eyes began to fill with tears.

[Eto: " **Kaneki... thank goodness. Don't worry, I'll protect you, I'm here for you, I'll be with you forever to make sure this never happens again. Just... please... d-don't... don't leave me...** "]

She began crying uncontrollably. Eto looked at me with her human eyes and her kakugan. Blood was all over her face. It completely drenched her clothes.

[Kaneki: "H-hah... don't... don't worry about that, Eto... Thank... you..."]

 _I was running out of energy. I felt like I was going to bleed out. I still felt the neverending pain in my arm. My eyes were closing, everything was fading to black._

[Eto: " _K-Kaneki?! Can you hear me?! Please... oh no... I have... to... sa..._ "]

 _Eto's voice faded into darkness. Everything was pitch black. Like sleeping without dreaming. I... I don't know what'll happen from now on... And... I'm too tired to think about it right now... I need some time to rest..._

 _I just want to read books and be with Eto. Why do things like this always happen? It'_ s _almost as if I'm the subject of some sort of tragedy story, and the author is torturing me over and over again for the sake of pure entertaiment._

 _...And, I can't do anything about it._

 _It hurts so much._

 ** _Chapter 5 ~ Bloodshot_**

 **END**


	6. Impaired Future

**Soon** **After Chapter 5**

[Voice: " _...Kaneki. Can you hear me...? ...Wake up... please._ "]

My eyes slowly parted away from the darkness. Light filled my vision, and my mind was still boggled from the events of what happened before.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... W-where am I...?"]

Eto's face was directly above mine. She was staring at me intently. It almost made me uncomfortable, how close she was to me.

 _...Was she watching me like that the entire time? Probably not..._

[Eto: "A-ah...! You're finally awake..."]

She jumped away from me and blushed, and turned for a moment. It seems that she wasn't expecting me to awake so soon.

[Eto: "...We're at my apartment. I've already resolved everything. Don't worry; no one knows about what happened last night. And... there's a change of clothes for you, over there."]

 _So after she went on a rampage, she took me straight to her apartment... How did she avoid getting caught, holding my body and being covered in blood? ...Speaking of blood, I still reeked of it_ , _but it seems most of it was wiped off... maybe Eto did that for me?_

[Kaneki: "...Okay... but... are you alright now, Eto?"]

 _She acted so differently when I last saw her. She was psychotic, crazy, completely out of it. It was horrific to watch._

[Eto: A-ah... yeah, I'm... fine, I guess. ...By the way, I healed your wound with my kagune. If I hadn't done that, you would have bled out and... died."]

Eto clenched her fists and grimaced.

 _Did the thought of me leaving her side really make her that insecure? ...It was... cute, to say the least. I'm not going to ask how she used her kagune to heal me, as it's probably a simple process since kagune are pretty much capable of manifesting itself as an organ._

I lifted myself up and attempted to get myself off of her... bed.

 _Wait... bed?! I was on her bed?! But Eto was sitting right beside me! ...Then that means, we were s-sleeping together?! In the same bed?!_

I sat up on Eto's bed, astonished.

[Eto: "Hmm...? Is there something wrong, Kaneki?"]

 _I had to ask her. She was staring at my face when I woke up and was right by my side, sharing a bed... It felt so... wrong. At the same time though, I didn't really mind it._

I looked up at Eto and asked embarassingly.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... D-did we... uh... perhaps, sleep on the same bed?"]

[Eto: "Huh? ...Yeah, of course! I didn't have anywhere else for you to rest, and I didn't want a guest sleeping on the floor, so I decided to share the bed!"]

 _...She really was oblivious about these kinds of things. Eto was so pure and innocent in times like these. I, myself, had been tainted by reading some books I shouldn't have out of sheer curiosity. If Eto really does want to be an author, then she'll learn about... that type of stuff soon enough._

[Kaneki: "O-oh... that makes sense... I guess..."]

I finally got up off of Eto's bed and looked around her place.

 _Hmm... it seems pretty simple. Everything was clean and organized like a normal room. She even had a bookshelf filled with books she had bought with her own money._ _On her desk, was a tattered and worn out book. It looked like some sort of diary... It'd probably be best to ignore it._

[Kaneki: U-um... Eto, can you turn around for a moment, please?"]

 _I didn't want a girl to be looking at me while I changed into her clothes. Wait... her clothes. I was wearing clothes she had worn before. It wasn't necessarily girly or female clothes, it was just simple casual wear that could be worn by both genders. ...But still, the thought of Eto wearing this made me blush in embarassment._

[Eto: "Aww... okay..."]

 _What did she mean by that?! Eto wanted to see me changing? ...It's just another one of her antics, hopefully._

I changed into the clothes Eto left me and set my blood ridden clothes aside. Eto was brewing a cup of coffee for me, so I guess we were going to be talking for a bit.

She told me to sit at her desk while she went to go get another chair. Eto decided to sit side by side right next to me, which was close enough to make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

[Eto: "...I'm sorry. I went too far. I could have gotten us in some deep trouble. ...I let my emotions take over me. I-I... didnt want to-"]

[Kaneki: "Eto. What matters right now is that you and I are both alive. I mean, I-I do agree that you went a bit overboard but... it was entertaining to see that side of you. ...I just dont get why would you go so far for me."]

 _I'm sure I already knew the answer. I just wanted to confirm it for myself. Eto went crazy for someone who was just considered a friend._

[Eto: "...If you were to ever abandon me, I-I'd pretty much have no purpose in this world. ...You are my everything, Kaneki. You're the one who saved me from the darkness I called home."]

She paused for a moment and held her wrist in her lap.

[Eto: "...If you left me... it'd be the same as the light vanishing from my world. Every time I'm with you, I get this soft, gentle feeling that I only get from you. It's hard for me to describe... I just wanted to protect you. ...Because your life is equivalent to mine."]

There was a soft silence in the air.

 _I wasn't expecting such a heartfelt response like that. It made my soul flutter, knowing Eto held me in such high regard. However, it also frightened me, because I realized I had more than one life in my hands._

[Kaneki: "I... I understand. I get that feeling too, something I only experience when I'm with you."]

 _I didn't want to outright say that it was love. It was possible Eto still didn't understand that concept, and I didn't want to assume things too fast. After all, the feeling Eto described may not be love..._

[Kaneki: "...Just next time, if something like this ever happens, make sure to keep control of yourself. Not only for your sake, but for mine, too."]

She clenched her fists in anger.

[Eto: "...I won't let something like that happen again...!"]

... _Her emotions for me were powerful. I could feel how much she cared for me through her actions. ...It was a nice feeling. Something that I've never experienced before. I want to relish in it._

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... C-calm down a bit..."]

It seemed my words didn't affect her.

[Eto: "...I've been getting stronger. I've developed a half-kakuja."]

 _A half... what? Why would Eto need to be any stronger? She was trying to incorporate herself into human life. There's no need for her to keep getting_ _even more powerful._

[Eto: "If a ghoul cannibalizes another ghoul, they get stronger. ...They can manifest kakujas, which are like enhanced kagune that envelop the body like armor... You don't really need to know the details, anyway."]

 _Like armor... Last night, I remembered that Eto did look different. It appeared that she had a bulkier build, and wore an owl-like mask that covered her face. Her glowing red kakugan complimented it perfectly._

[Kaneki: "...Oh... so that's why you looked so different. ...But why would you need to get stronger? You don't need to go that far just to protect me, you know."]

[Eto: "...It's not that, Kaneki... There's something else I want to do."]

 _It appeared as if Eto were hesitating to tell me something. I don't want to pry too much into her life, but I certainly was curious._

[Eto: "...I've been planning something for a while. This discrimination against ghouls, hated by all of humanity...I want it all to end. I have to get stronger... step by step, no matter how long it takes, be it by force or not, I'll cause revolution."]

 _Eh...? I thought Eto had been lying about that. ...But she was actually thinking about it all this time. I can't say that I disagree with her. She's allowed to do anything she wants to, after all..._

[Eto: "Ghoulkind needs a powerful figure to look up to. Someone that will lead them. ...I'll become powerful, and be the role model of all ghouls."]

 _Her mind was already set. I could see the resolve in her eyes. She must have thought about this night after night..._

[Kaneki: "I-I... I don't really know... what to say... I-I mean, you're free to do whatever you want, but you can't do something like that all by yourself, right?"]

 _I don't know what to think anymore. Ghouls, humans... None of that ever mattered to me. Eto was born in a world of black and white, and she has the resolve to bring peace to those that are ridiculed._

[Eto: "That's why... I need you, Kaneki. I need someone to help me. Not just for my cause, but also just for my well-being... Kaneki Ken, will you join me?"]

 _...I never would have thought something like this would ever happen to me. I don't know what a human would do to bring peace to ghoulkind, but if all I have to do is stay with Eto and make sure she's happy, then... it really doesn't sound too bad._

[Kaneki: "...Aren't I already helping you? I've already said that I wouldn't leave your side. I-I don't know how I can directly help you achieve your goal, but I know that I can just stay with you, even after you accomplish your mission."]

[Eto: "Yeah... Leave the dangerous parts to me. ...I'll make sure to tell you every move I make. ...Thank you, Kaneki."]

 _I know Eto's strong. I know she can achieve her goal. It'd be a long journey, but as long as I'm with her, I believe that peace could be achieved._

[Kaneki: "A-ah... one thing though... you say you want to assist ghouls, but you're cannibalizing them to become stronger. Isn't that... wrong?"]

Eto directed her eyes towards the ground.

[Eto: "As I've said before... I'd do anything to achieve my goal."]

 _This confirms how serious Eto was about this. If she was willing to go this far, I'm sure she could do it. If it's her... Eto can do just about anything._

[Eto: "I've already made a name for myself amongst the CCG. ...A couple weeks ago, I fought and killed a special class investigator by myself. Apparently, my code name is "X" and I was given an S ranking."]

 _Aren't special class investigators really strong? I've heard that they could take down hordes of ghouls by themselves. For Eto to do this by herself... it seems really dangerous. I'm worried for her, but I don't want to set her back._

[Eto: "While they send more doves to search for me, I'll get stronger, and I'll raid the CCG by myself. I'll really let them know that there's a new threat for them."]

 _Now, I knew this was too much for Eto. There's no way she could do something like that, even if she kept on cannibalizing._

[Kaneki: "You can't take down the CCG headquarters by yourself! T-that's too risky for one person, a-and I don't want you to die on me..."]

[Eto: "...It's not like I'm planning on killing everyone there. I'll cause a bit of havoc, and then get out. That'll be enough to show them who they're up against."]

 _That's still way too hazardous... I'm sure Eto knows she can't support ghoulkind like this._

[Eto: "...And after I do that, I'll start the real operation. I'll form a group called Aogiri Tree, an organization of ghouls who want to experience true freedom."]

 _Aogiri... Tree? Didn't Eto say something like that a couple of months ago? ...She was actually serious about that? ...I really can't figure this girl out..._

[Kaneki: "That's... certainly ambitious of you. I'm not sure if it's actually possible, but I'll be here with you to see it through until the end."]

 _I couldn't stop Eto from doing this. This is her life's purpose. Her reason for existence._ _If I'm not here with her, she'll be carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. I want to make her burden a bit lighter, even by a tiny amount._

[Kaneki: "...And just know, if you die, then I'll die too. ...Because your life is equivalent to mine, right?"]

Eto grinned upon hearing this.

[Eto: "I won't fail! As long as you're by my side, I know I can do this. ...I'll make sure of it."]

 _She had so much courage. I could never muster the confidence or motivation to do something like this on such a large scale. ...Eto was playing the hero. I might not be as powerful as her, but a hero is nothing without something to fight for. I'll be that symbol, the symbol to ensure thay she doesn't lose sight of her goal._

[Kaneki: "Heh... good luck. It's kind of strange that I'm supposed to be dead right now. ...I feel like saying thank you is an understatement, since you're the only reason why I'm still alive."]

 _I still couldn't forget about the events of last night. The trauma still lingered inside of my head, the frightening feeling of being near-death, so close to death's door... It certainly made me feel different about this world._

[Eto: "It's just pay back for what you've done for me until now! You don't have to keep worrying about a thing. ...Just be a little bit smarter, please?"]

 _That's right. The only reason why I ended up in that situation was because I decided to walk through a secluded alley in the dead of night. It really was dumb of me. I should've listened to Eto when she told me to stay safe._

[Kaneki: "A-ah... yeah, I'll try my best."]

[Eto: "No, that's not enough! You have to promise me!"]

She wore a pouty expression on her face as she held out her pinky.

 _...A pinky promise? I haven't done one of these in a really long time. I'll promise Eto that she won't have to worry about my well-being again. ...Hopefully. I can't say that nothing bad will happen to me, because with the recent trend of events, it looks like my luck won't be too great._

I held my pinky out and intertwined it with Eto's. It was a soft, gentle feeling.

[Kaneki: "O-okay... I promise that I'll be safe."]

Eto smiled happily and released her pinky from mine.

[Eto: "Alright! ...Now what do we do?"]

 _It was still morning, and I still had traces of blood all over me even after Eto took care of me while I was unconcious. I decided it was best for me to go back to my aunt's house. I'll just tell my aunt that I was playing at a friend's house. ...Again, it's not like it really mattered. She probably would wish for me to leave the house forever and to never come back._

[Kaneki: "I should be going back to my aunt's house. ...You don't have work today, so I think you should... cannibalize on ghouls. That'd be the best choice, right?"]

 _Eto should be working towards her goal whenever she's not acting as a human. This way, she can live a double life in order to not get caught by the CCG._

[Eto: "...Yeah. I won't raid the CCG until I get around a 75% kakuja, so it'll take about a couple of months to get there. In the mean time, you can visit me whenever you want. I'll let you in any time I'm here, even during midnight!"]

 _A couple of months. It seems quite far away, but honestly, for something this significant, I'd hope it wouldn't come any quicker._

I got up and headed for the door.

[Kaneki: "I-I'll be leaving, then. Don't do anything too rash, okay? There's CCG investigators searching for you, so it'll be dangerous out..."]

[Eto: "You've seen how strong I am, Kaneki. I'll be fine."]

 _Eto was a monster last night. I'm sure if she ever gets into trouble, she can just kill anyone in her way... The thought of her doing something like that made me cringe. I preferred Eto the way she was now._

[Kaneki: "A-alright, then. I'll see you again, Eto."]

Eto smiled and waved at me as I shut the door.

[Eto: "*sigh* ...I hope Kaneki won't think too badly of me after seeing _that_ psychotic side of mine."]

Eto put her hands behind her head and leaned back on her chair.

[Eto: " ...I want him to be even closer to me... I'm sure Kaneki realizes what that 'feeling' he experiences when he's with me really is."

Eto blushed and buried her face into her arms

[Eto: "...I even had him sleep in the same bed as me... That took a lot of courage to do, stupid Kaneki..."]

 ** _Chapter 6 ~ Impaired Future_**

 **END**


	7. The Only Color In This Blank World

**2** **Months After Chapter 6**

 _...My birthday had passed. I'm 13 now. Eto said she wasn't sure when her birthday was, but that she was around 15 years old now. It's unfortunate, because I wanted to get her something for her birthday. Instead, we were drinking cups of coffee together in a bustling cafè, as always._

[Kaneki: "So, why can't we go to Anteiku?"]

 _Anteiku was one of my favorite cafès to visit. The coffee was delicious and the service was really nice, too. ...But for some reason, Eto always avoided it._

Eto stared deeply into her reflection from the coffee before she responded.

[Eto: "*sigh* I guess there's really no reason for me to hide it..."]

She rested her chin on her palm and pushed up her glasses, which she had recently bought to help with her human disguise.

[Eto: "...It's because my father's there."]

... _I thought Eto didn't know anything about her parents? ...Either way, this is a good thing, right?_

[Kaneki: "E-eh?! So why don't you go see him, then?"]

Eto sighed and glanced downwards.

[Eto: "...Not everything works out like that, Kaneki. You see, I've been holding onto my mother's diary for a while. I've read the contents and... my father is... pathetic."]

Eto wore a look of disgust and hatred.

[Eto: "...He killed my mother. He was involved with an organization called "V", who forced my father to kill my mother. He was weak. He couldn't protect me, nor the one he loved. ...Now, he runs a coffee shop to help forget his _shitty_ decisions."]

 _...Wow. Maybe I shouldn't have asked after all. Eto seemed dissatisfied and angry, as if she was going to break something on impulse. I don't really understand why she despises her father so much, but the contents in the diary must've influenced her to think that way._

[Kaneki: "U-um... have you at least tried talking to him? M-maybe he'll-"]

[Eto: "I did. I've met him once. ...He told me I was free to return to him whenever I wanted to."]

She took a sip out of her coffee to calm herself.

[Eto: "...But why would I go back to that bastard? Even if my life depended on it, I'd _never_ want to be with that coward. ...That's how I ended up living on the streets, until I met you."]

[Kaneki: "O-oh... I see. So you're just gonna keep on avoiding him? Are you going to do anything?"]

 _I wonder if her father really is as bad as she described. ...Sometimes, you can't do anything. You're forced to go onto a path you don't want to. That's what it means to be powerless. ...I'd know that feeling the most._

[Eto: "...When the time comes, I'll probably use him for my own purpose. For now, I'll just let him live his own peaceful life."]

Eto paused, as if she was thinking about whether or not to say something.

[Eto: " ...By the way, all the employees at Anteiku are ghouls."]

 _G-ghouls?! They seemed like humans, though... I guess they, too, were trying to fit in with the humans like Eto was doing. ...I wonder how many other ghouls I've passed by._

[Eto: "He made Anteiku as a safe haven for ghouls that wanted to live as humans. Trying to redeem himself like that, after what he's done... It won't work on me."]

 _It'll be hard to change the way Eto perceives her father. ...I've never met him, so he might not be as bad as he sounds._

[Eto: "Creating Aogiri... achieving world peace... all of this is because of my mother's diary. I don't want anyone to suffer like I have anymore. It's because of this fucked up world that my mother had to die. ...My life is a product of the pain this world has inflicted. ...And I'll take it upon myself to see my goals completed."]

 _Eto has been talking more and more like this. She sounds like she's the leader of a country or something. ...It's kind of funny to watch, because a 15 year old girl is pretty much declaring that she'll change the world. It seems as if it's nothing more than a child's delusions... but Eto really was dead set on actually doing this. ...It's what she wants to do, anyway._

[Kaneki: "...Well, I'm saying it wouldn't hurt to solve the complications with your father. ...Y-you can worry about that later, though! You already have enough food on your plate..."]

 _I don't wanna pressure Eto. If she really wants to reconcile with her father, then she's free to. ...It looks like she won't do it any time soon, though._

[Eto: "...Whatever. I'll think about it."]

 _Eto really did give off a scary vibe when she was angry. I'll make sure to be careful when talking about sensitive topics like_ _this_

[Eto: "In one month, I'll raid the CCG."]

I looked up, shocked upon hearing this information.

[Kaneki: "I-I see... I was expecting it to be a little later, though..."]

[Eto: "The sooner, the better. I don't have time to waste."]

 _...That's right. Maintaining a human life as well as doing ghoul things while undercover must be a tough task for Eto._

[Kaneki: "A-ah... If there's anything I could do, no matter how small, just tell me. P-please!"]

Eto looked at me and smiled.

[Eto: "Just you being here with me is enough, Kaneki."]

I tried my hardest not to blush.

 _I know she's looking for a reaction out of me... but I won't give it to her!_

[Eto: "...Hmph. Why are you trying so hard to suppress your emotions?"]

My defense fell apart, and I ended up getting embarassed.

 _I don't know if I'm just really bad at hiding my feelings or if Eto can actually read my mind..._

[Kaneki: "...You always manage to hit my sweet spots. I-I just didn't want to give you the satisfaction, that's all."]

Eto giggled happily before putting on a solemn expression and leaning over the table and whispering into my ear.

[Eto: " _...You know, I understand what love is._ "]

Eto's words rang through my head multiple times before I could react. I didn't blush or get embarrassed, I just sat there, dumbfounded.

 _...How long? How long has Eto known about that? It could be possible she was always aware of it... but... she acted so oblivious all the time. ...Does this mean what it really means? That Eto... harbors those type of feelings for me? I don't think she's just teasing me. ...I'll give her a witty response of my own, then._

[Kaneki: "Huh? ...I know that already."]

Eto leapt away and had a surprised look on her face.

[Eto: "W-what? Then what about when you were at my apartment, and we slept in the same bed together?! There's no way you would have known!"]

 _She was right. I was thoroughly deceived. I believed that Eto didn't know what sleeping in the same bed implied. ...I'll have to come up with a reasonable lie._

[Kaneki: "Hmm... It's because I'm _used_ to sleeping with girls."]

 _I was trying hard to suppress my laughter. I'm sure Eto won't believe what I said, she knows me well enough to realize that I couldn't do something like that._

Eto pouted and crossed her arms.

[Eto: "Then why were you all embarassed when you woke up on _my_ bed?! ...Idiot!"]

[Kaneki: "Well, what are you trying to imply by saying you know what love is? A-are you trying to say that... uh... y-you-"]

Eto's face turned bright red and she directed her gaze downwards.

[Eto: "Y-you... when did you have it in you to act like this?! So what if I do l-l-li-"]

She suddenly quieted herself and tried to calm down.

 _...All attack and no defense. ...That was almost really bad, though. Eto almost let out her real feelings in public, but she caught herself. At least I know now, how Eto really feels about me. She fell into her own trap._ _I still could barely believe it. How did she manage to let out that kind of information? It wasn't like her at all. Maybe she was just toying with me, as always... I'll try to squeeze a bit more info out of her._

After a long moment of awkward silence, I took the final sip of my coffee and spoke.

[Kaneki: "...So what were you saying, Eto?"]

She looked up at me with a face of someone that has lost an important battle.

[Eto: "...I-I... Jeez, it doesn't even matter anymore! Come on, let's leave now."]

Eto left the money on the table, then grabbed my hand and pulled me outside.

[Kaneki: "Uhh... Eto...?"]

No response. She continued to drag me until we reached the old flower field we used to visit all the time.

 _It's been a while since we last came here. Eto doesn't have the need for me to teach her anything at this point, so we eventually stopped going to the flower field. ...It was still nostalgic and beautiful to look at though._

[Kaneki: "...Eto, why'd you bring me here...?"]

I gulped as Eto turned around to face me.

[Eto: "...I'm just trying to set up a nice mood..."]

 _Set up...? Set up for what?_

[Eto: "I was planning on doing this when the time was right, but now I have no choice... the sooner the better, I guess."]

 _What is Eto going to do? She brought me all the way out here... for what? The sun was already setting against the swaying flowers in the distance. It certainly was a good mood, but I still don't know what it's for. ...I can't do anything but wait and see what Eto has in store for me. To be honest, I'm a little bit excited. Eto hasn't done something this extravagant before. ...I'll let her take her time._

Eto sighed and closed her eyes, as if she was mentally preparing herself. She gave herself a couple of deep breaths as I stood there awkwardly in front of her, until finally, she spoke.

[Eto: "...Kaneki! ...You've been with me for quite a long time now. It's been about... 7 months since we first met."]

Eto twiddled her fingers and averted her eyes from mine.

[Eto: "I don't think I have to say much. You already know how much you mean to me. ...That's why, I just want to let you know that... our feelings are mutual."]

She looked up at me, waiting for a response. It took my mind a while to process this. It happened so quickly.

 _This is... a confession. The scenery, the mood, and Eto's words. There's no doubt about it. This is actually happening. ...It's so random though. I guess she was planning this for a while, but decided to do it now for some reason._

I swallowed my anxiety and responded as quickly as I could.

[Kaneki: "S-so, does that mean... you l-love me?"]

 _Love. We're just a couple of teenagers. How could we know what love feels like? ...There's no other word that I know of that could describe the intertwined emotions between Eto and I, though. I'd never would have imagined this to happen. ...I guess we just came this far together, huh..._

 _Love. **...I love Eto.**_

Eto blushed and stammered for a moment before answering.

[Eto: "Y-you really had to go and ask that, huh...? You're right. ...I-I do love you."]

 _Is this... really the right thing? It's all a misunderstanding, isn't it? I have to make sure of this, before either of us gets hurt._

[Kaneki: "...Are you sure about this? How do you-"]

[Eto: " **I'M SURE OF IT!** "]

Eto suddenly yelled at the top of her lungs, interrupting me. She looked angry, with a tinge of sadness hidden in her eyes.

[Eto: "...You're always like this, Kaneki. You're so insecure that you can never believe in others or even your own self. ...You always ask questions, as if you don't trust what I'm saying. You just have to accept whatever life throws at you. Stop overthinking for once... there's nothing complicated about what I've said.

 _I love you._ That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. You don't have to think about it, because I know my feelings for you are real."]

I began to feel tears well up in my eyes, as Eto continued to dart her gaze all over the place.

 _...She just pointed out all of my flaws. That's how well Eto knows me, but I'm sure anyone with a brain can see that I'm pathetic. Even that ghoul that tried to eat me knew I was weak..._

 _Why would Eto love someone like me? ...I did what any ordinary person would. I helped someone in need. I... I don't need something like this in return..._

 _Agh, I'm overthinking again. Eto mustered all of her courage for this moment and I'm ruining it. I have to fix this somehow._

 _...It's alright for me to desire things. It's okay, isn't it? Deep down, I already know what I want to do. I don't have to question why or how._ _I just have to be resolved._

 ** _I just want to... see her smile._**

I pushed back all my negative thoughts and focused on my only goal. I smiled, and finally met eyes with Eto. She had hints of tears in her eyes.

I slowly got closer to Eto, and wrapped my arms around her.

 _No more being weak. I don't need to question everything._

 _...I just have to do what I want to do._

[Eto: "E-eh...?!"]

Eto was astonished by my sudden actions. Just a moment ago, it seemed as if everything had gone wrong.

[Kaneki: "...You're right. I-I've had enough of being a coward. I'll... have the strength to make my own decisions."]

I embraced her for a bit longer before Eto finally put her arms around me.

[Eto: "...I-I thought I messed up. I'll be here to give you the motivation and confidence that you need. After all, y-you love me too, right?"

I saw Eto shed a couple of tears. She tried her hardest to make it as subtle as possible.

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah, I do."]

[Eto: "...Then say it. You made me say it, so now it's your turn."]

I gulped and released Eto from my grasp.

I faced her and tried to prepare myself.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... I l-love you."]

 _This is so cheesy. It feels like a scene out of a stereotypical romance novel, what with the word 'love' being thrown about._

 _It was more than that, though. We were just kids. We didn't know how else to convey these feelings. ...That still doesn't change how we feel towards each other._

Eto smiled and hugged me again.

[Eto: "...You don't know how happy I am. This means we're in a relationship now, right? ...Like as boyfriend and girlfriend."]

 _That was weird to think about. I imagined us acting differently because of this, but I remembered that 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' are just simple titles. They don't really mean anything, since Eto and I were already close to begin with._

[Kaneki: "W-well, I guess, yeah... It won't change how we've been acting towards each other, though."]

[Eto: "Right, but you can't forget the lovey-dovey stuff!"]

Eto released me from her arms and instead grabbed my right arm and pulled it close to her.

[Eto: "Like _this_ type of lovey-dovey stuff..."]

 _Oh yeah... I forgot about that. This creates a whole new window of opportunity for Eto to tease me with... but it also lets me do so as well._

[Kaneki: "U-uh, it's getting really late, so I think we should be heading back, n-now."

It was already almost dusk, as the radiant sun was almost out of view and no longer gave the flower field that bright color. Instead, that vibrant color was being emitted from Eto as she was still clinging onto me, as happy as possible. She had the biggest smile on her face.

[Eto: "...Mmm, okay. I'll be going, then."]

Eto finally let go of me and began to walk backwards while waving.

[Eto: "I can't wait to do all _sorts_ of things to you~"]

 _I knew she was going to start saying these things. This'll be tough to get used to, but I know I can overpower her._

[Kaneki: "A-ah... I'll see you later, Eto..."]

I began to walk in the opposite direction, towards my aunt's house.

[Eto: "Goodbye! I love you~!"]

She turned around and skipped happily into the distance.

 _Eto had such a hard time saying that phrase the first time, and now she says it with ease. ...Truly unpredictable._

... _But that's just what I love about her._

 ** _Chapter 7 ~ The Only Color In This Blank World_**

 **END**


	8. Perception

**Disclaimer** : This chapter is entirely in **Eto's** perspective instead of Kaneki's.

 **One Month After Chapter 7**

 _Today's the day. The day I make my mark onto the CCG. After this battle, I'll start the real plans and begin forming Aogiri Tree. I have some powerful individuals to consider, but I'll begin searching for them after this mission is complete. I'll probably begin with Tatara, the Chinese ghoul whose clan was annhilated by the CCG. He'll be a strong asset for Aogiri..._

I stopped thinking about the future and put on my old torn cloak around me.

 _A mask... I need a mask to hide my identity..._

I searched my apartment and only found a roll of bandages in one of my drawers.

 _No mask, huh... These bandages will do._

I wrapped the bandages all around my body and face to hide myself. It was suspicious, sure, but no one would be able to make out who I was.

 _Alright, I'm ready. I'll have to jump through the window so people don't see me leaving the apartment. It was the dead of night, and leaving my place from the front would raise some eyebrows._

I carefully opened the window and climbed out of it, closing it on my way out.

 _The 2nd ward CCG branch. That's my target. It's quite far away from here, so I'll have to get there quickly._

I leapt from building to building using my kagune until I finally reached the CCG office. It was huge, at least 15 stories tall. Still, it was nothing before me.

 _This is it... I know I can do this. Kaneki's waiting for me. I'll cause as much damage as possible and leave. ...I've thought about every scenario multiple times. There's no way I'll fail._

I took multiple deep breaths before investigating the building for a way in.

 _It's midnight, so every door should be locked. I'll just break one of the windows from the top floors and drop in with my kakuja... You'd think the CCG would have more protection on their headquarters,but I guess they've never really thought that a ghoul would try to go straight for the building itself._

I reached one of the top floors with my kagune and shattered it. It broke extremely easily, not reinforced one bit.

I entered the building and looked around. There weren't any doves on this floor.

 _I'll just do this straight away... no need to sneak around._

I activated my kakuja form, which enveloped my entire body in kagune-like armor.

 _I've definitely gotten stronger, alright. I can feel the power pulsing through me. ...This might be a bit too easy for me._

I jumped up and dove straight down, crashing into the ground of the 1st floor, where all the investigators were located.

 **BOOM!**

The noise of my landing echoed loudly throughout the entire building. All of the doves turned their head to see a massive beast in the middle of their workplace, to their horror.

 _Hah... How's that, CCG?_

I heard yelling and screaming from civilians that were in the vicinity. More and more investigators appeared around me and attempted to surround me.

[Investigator: "It's the S-rated ghoul 'X'! Everyone, be on guard!"]

 _It's time to begin my rampage. I'm feeling a bit... excited. It's been a while since something this exhilarating has happened... besides confessing to Kaneki._

The investigators opened their quinques and opened fire.

[Eto: " **BAHAHAHAHA! That tickles, you know!** "]

I taunted them as I took the pea-shooter bullets without a scratch.

I dashed across the ground quickly while slashing at the doves as if they were flies. I heard the shrieks of death all around me. Blood splattered everywhere.

[Investigator: "S-special class Urie and Kuroiwa have arrived! Continue to fire!"]

 _It seems the big fish have arrived. No matter._

I opened up my ukaku wings and prepared to unleash a plumage of shards straight into the enemies.

It rained like hell for a couple of seconds, doves falling left and right. Those that lived were horrified on the sight of seeing their dead comrades lay next to them.

[Eto: " **COME ON! You'll need more than that!"]**

I continued to rush the investigators at incredible speeds, using the dead bodies as meat shields whenever I felt like it.

[Urie: "Kuroiwa. Formation C."]

[Kuroiwa: "Mmm!"]

 _The big fish are finally beginning their assault... This'll be fun._

The two special class investigators rushed towards me from both sides, one wielding a quinque that resembled a sword and shield, while the other used a blunt-type quinque.

 _A frontal assault...? They're running straight towards me. Such idiots._

I jumped straight up right as they were about to make contact with my kakuja.

[Eto: " **AHAHAHA! Are you idiots** **serious**?!"]

The two doves were directly under me as I was about to land and crush them from my kakuja's weight, until one of them muttered something.

[Urie: "Remote activation."]

He detached his shield quinque and laid it where I was going to land. It shapeshifted from a shield into some sort of trap that electrocutes whatever is caught in it.

 _Oh... this might be bad. It was too late to redirect myself and there were no walls near me to jump off of. I have to take the hit._

I readied my ukaku shards as I fell into the trap.

[Eto: " **AGGGGHHHH! FUCK, THAT REALLY HURT!** "]

The quinque electrocuted me, but I shot out my ukaku in all directions so whoever tried to follow up would get impaled.

I destroyed the quinque after a moment of struggling, and ran towards a couple of dead bodies to replenish on.

[Eto: " **Aw man, this guy tastes really good!** "]

I continued my endless slaughter until there was nothing but bodies on the floor. The 2nd ward CCG branch has nothing to fend off something like me. How pathetic.

[Investigator: "Special Class Kuroiwa and Urie! We should retreat until Special Class Arima arrives!"]

 _Arima...? Could it be? The CCG's reaper was on his way? Hahaha, now I'm REALLY excited._

[Urie: "I'll hold off the ghoul while the rest of you retreat!"]

The special class primed himself for battle, with a half-broken quinque.

[Kuroiwa: "Mikito...! You'll die!"]

[Urie: "...I'm just doing my job. Kuroiwa, tell Kuki that I... I'm sorry. ...Now, go!"]

The one named Kuroiwa tried to round the remaining survivors to retreat while reinforcements came. Pathetic.

[Eto: " **I admire your bravery, Special Class! I feel bad for your child, though.** "]

I battled the lone dove for a while. He wasn't half bad, but a single investigator couldn't do a thing to me.

His attacks only bruised me, and I eventually broke the quinque and impaled the dove with my kagune blade. Blood spilled from his guts and mouth, leaving a lifeless corpse in front of me. How delicious!

[Eto: " **Come on, I'm getting bored...** "]

[Investigator: "Special Class Arima has arrived! All investigators, cease fire! Don't get in his way!"]

 _Ahahahaha... he's finally here! I'm so giddy right now, like a child on Christmas Day. I can't wait to see what the strongest investigator is like._

Arima Kishou stepped into battle, quinque in hand. He did not utter a single word, as he leapt towards me.

I shot my ukaku bullets at him, but he gracefully dodged all of them.

 _What...? Humans don't have that type of physical capability. Is he a... nevermind. That's impossible._

I traded blows with the monster of a human. I felt every hit connect through my kakuja and into my body.

[Arima: "You're a one eye."]

 _His first sentence is that...? How keen of him. No one else has realized that._

We continued to dash across the CCG, destroying the walls and shattering windows.

[Eto: "... **That's... right!** "]

 _I'm running out of stamina. How can a human keep up with the speed of a ukaku? I was panting hard; the reaper didn't give me a chance to reenergize myself._

[Eto: " **Haah... You... You aren't human, are you? Why do you fight for the CCG?** "]

 _I was sure of it. Arima Kishou is not human. He didn't have a kakugan, so not a ghoul. He was something else, but I knew it was anything but a human._

[Arima: "Saturday, 10 A.M. Come to Anteiku."]

 _H-huh? Why...? What is he planning? Maybe Arima is working undercover or something. I'll... I'll go to Anteiku that day, I guess. I have to find out more about this._

[Eto: " **Huh...?! Whatever. I'll take you up on your offer.** "]

 _His attacks were letting up. Was he giving me a chance to escape? I knew he could easily defeat me here and now if he wanted to. I'll just take the opportunity and get out before I really do die._

[Eto: "... **I've had enough fun here! Bye bye~** "]

The front entrance was completely blocked off. I used the last of my energy to scale up the CCG walls back to the window I came from. I came out of my kakuja, bloody and battered up from the slaughter I had just done. I climbed out the window, and jumped out. The investigators could only watch and shoot their petty bullets as none of them could keep up with my speed.

 _This'll take a while to heal. Arima really did a number on me._ _I wonder what he wants to do at Anteiku. He'll either try to kill me, or... I don't know. Arima seems like the type of person who has an unreadable mind. I really don't understand what he's trying to do, but it seems like an interesting opportunity that'll only get to come up once. I have to take it._

I finally reached my living spaces after a long while. I took off my bloody ragged cloak and set it aside, then slowly unraveled the blood-drenched dangling bandages I wore.

I took a cold shower to clean off the blood and to regain my senses.

 _I'll be busy while organizing plans for Aogiri, but I should come up with something in my free time as a human. I've considered becoming an author, but I've heard the process is difficult... I'll try writing a couple of stories on my own and having Kaneki review them. ...He should be able to help me while I act as a human, as he can't do anything while I'm a ghoul._

I grabbed a nearby towel and dried myself as I proceeded to grab my clothes.

 _What should my first story be titled? ...Maybe something simple, like... "Dear Kafka." It'll be a novel following a boy who has problems with his father... something like me. I can imagine a plethora of ideas just from the plot alone._

I finished putting on my clothes and

jumped into bed face first into my pillow, my arms and legs splayed out.

 _I hope it'll be good enough for me to quit my current part-time job so I could make a name for myself as a famous author..._

 _I'll have to make a pen name, though. Something interesting..._

 _How about "Takatsuki Sen"? "Takatsuki" meaning something like a large tree, and "Sen" which can mean spring. ...I like it._

 _I'll have to put these ideas aside for now, though. I have to deal with my appointment with Arima first. If he wants to fight, I should probably sleep right now. It was already midnight, after all._

I closed my eyes and slowly drifted to sleep.

 **The Next Morning**

 _...I'm feeling kind of tense. I'm on my way to meet the CCG's god of death, Arima Kishou. I was dressed in plain looking clothes, with my hair tied up into a little ponytail to help conceal my identity._

Anteiku entered my view, and Arima was standing near the entrance, wearing his usual all-white investigator suit. He held his quinque case in his left hand, and stood patiently without a care in the world.

 _Is there anyone with him...?_

I scouted the area, looking for other doves. There were none, to my surprise.

 _I guess it's safe for me to approach him. I should still keep my guard up, though._

I walked up to the angel of death without saying a word. He looked at me with a deadpan face and spoke first.

[Arima: "...Let's make this quick. I am not your enemy."]

 _Not my enemy, huh. He says that while having_ _damaged me severely._

[Arima: "Follow me."]

Arima walked away from Anteiku and entered an abandoned park, where there was no one nearby to eavesdrop.

We stood, facing each other with heavy tension. I didn't say a word.

[Arima: "I am not human nor ghoul. ...I am a half-human, a species that is the offspring of ghoul and human parents."]

 _Half... human? Not a half-ghoul? That explained why he didn't have a kakugan, but I've still never heard of this species before._

Arima continued to speak before I could respond.

[Arima: "...The Sunlit Garden. A place where the Washuu breed human and ghouls together to try and create powerful offspring. Cases like you where the product is a half-ghoul is extremely rare. Half-humans are just humans with sped up aging and increased physicial capabilities. ...Nothing else."]

 _This... is a lot of information to take in. I knew the Washuu's, the family that owns the CCG, were all ghouls. And they created the Sunlit Garden to try and become human. ...Well, it makes sense, at least._

I looked towards Arima and noticed his blue hair had traces of white strands all over it.

 _His enhanced fighting prowess, and his hair turning white... what Arima was saying was true, for the most part._

[Eto: "...So? That's interesting and all, but what did you really bring me here for?"]

Arima kept a straight face and a stern pose as he replied.

[Arima: "...I share the same cause as you. I wish to see ghouls become free, and live with humans without fear."]

 _...This doesn't make sense. Why would he work for the CCG? Was he forced to...?_

[Arima: "That's why I devised a plan. ...We'll create a myth. A god of ghouls, as you may call it. The 'One-Eyed King' shall be its name."]

 _If ghouls had some sort of leader to look up to, it'd help to achieve our goals. I had thought about this before, but there's no one that I know of that can hold that title._

[Eto: "...And who'll this so-called 'One-Eyed King' be?"]

[Arima: "We'll have to find a potential candidate. Until then, you and I will share the title of 'One-Eyed King'. We'll both try to find and raise someone that'll take that title from us. ...Once they become strong enough to kill me, they'll take over the throne and become the hope of all ghouls. After all, there has not been a single ghoul capable of defeating me."]

 _The ghoul that kills Arima Kishou will become the One-Eyed King. I'm not sure where we'll find someone like that, but it doesn't seem too far out of our reach. ...This plan might just actually work._

[Arima: "You and I will continue what we've been doing. I'll keep working for the CCG while you rebel against us."]

 _On the outside, we'll look like two enemies fighting against each other. Underneath this cover, will reveal a common goal..._

 _Honestly, if I'm able to keep fighting Arima, then that's just an added plus to this plan. There's no other human that can overpower me except for him. There's no other viable option but to accept his proposal. It's a win-win for the both of us._

[Eto: "...Fine. This plan doesn't seem too bad. I'll do what you've described. It has to be a half-ghoul, doesn't it? They have to be someone that understands both sides of the same coin."]

[Arima: "Yes, it does. I'm aware that you're the only half-ghoul the world has seen, but there'll be more soon enough."]

 _I didn't really understand what he said. How did he know that there were going to be more half-ghouls? ...Whatever. I won't poke holes into matters that aren't related to my mission._

[Eto: "Well, I'll keep you updated if I see someone fit for the crown. ...I'll see you later, Arima."]

We both turned around and walked away, dispersing the tension between us.

 _...I really wasn't expecting any of that. He was so straightforward, too. No greeting, no farewell. He just got straight to the point, leaving me little room to comprehend his words. ...I'm not even sure if he can be considered an ally. We're both working towards the same thing, so I guess technically we are._ _In the end, it doesn't matter. We're still going to engage in combat multiple times. It should be interesting._

I quietly walked back to my apartment, with tons of thoughts stuck in my mind.

 _Today's entirely free for me, so I should probably sort out all of my ideas..._

 _I should try to begin writing my novel. After that, I'll start to build Aogiri. I'll find some stray ghouls in the 24th ward and try to search for powerful rogue ghouls while I'm at it. I'll find the one named Tatara and have him join my cause. ...I'm sure he'll be a great asset to Aogiri._

 _...Ugh, there's so many things for me to do... I just have to deal with all the stress. I have to be determined._

 _*knock knock knock*_

 _Someone's knocking on the door. ...It's probably Kaneki! He's the only one that comes to my place anyway._

Excitedly, I jumped up and pounced from my desk to the door, quickly unlocking and opening it.

[Eto: "Kaaaneeeekiiiiiii~~!"]

I leapt towards him, arms wide open as soon as I caught a glimpse of his face.

I embraced him and held him tight.

 _Whenever he's here with me, I feel like I could do anything. All of my previous problems and exhaustion is wiped clean. His very presence gives me strength. ...I've been waiting to see him ever since I got back from the raid. I'm so... happy._

Kaneki was surprised from my sudden hug, but managed to collect his thoughts faster than usual.

[Kaneki: "...Why are you so excited? I'm happy to see you're okay, but tell me what happened."]

 _I'll have to explain what happened last night and this morning. ...I should keep the stuff about Arima secret, for now. There's no reason for me to tell Kaneki about it._

[Eto: "I'm just happy to see you, that's all. I'm about to start writing my first story! I'm going to try and get it published, so I can become a real author. I'll tell you about what's happened while I write it, so just come in and relax."]

[Kaneki: "...O-okay. I know you've been busy lately, so I hope I can help you with your story."]

He walked over to my bed and sat down on it.

 _Kaneki's so sweet. He's always thinking about me. ...He really doesn't know just how important he is to me._

[Eto: "I won't let you read it until it's done, though! You'll just have to sit and wait."]

[Kaneki: "...That's fine. If you need any help, just ask me. I'll stay here until night."]

 _I told him about my rampage in the CCG building and my meet up with Arima as I wrote my novel. I didn't tell him about what he actually said, though. I just told Kaneki that Arima was a good guy._

[Kaneki: "That Arima person seems really strange to me. ...You should be careful. He's still the most powerful investigator, after all."]

[Eto: "I've been writing for an hour and a half now... let's take a break, shall we?"]

I wore a teasing grin on my face. Kaneki knew I was going to do something to him. He waited in anticipation, until I made my move.

[Kaneki: "E-eto?! What are you do-"]

I stood up and put my hands over his mouth. I jumped on top of him, pinning Kaneki onto my bed. I set him on his side and I laid myself right next to him, gazing at his eyes. We were dangerously close.

 _I want to kiss him... I want to kiss him... Dammit Eto, control your urges! I can't assault Kaneki!_

We were facing each other, lying in the same bed. I rested my fingers on his face.

[Eto: "You're used to sleeping with girls, right Ka-"]

Kaneki suddenly put his face even closer to mine, and I felt a warm, but soft sensation on my lips.

 _Oh crap, what's happening?! Don't tell me Kaneki actually k-k-kissed me?! What the hell?! And I was over here trying to hold myself back!_

[Kaneki: "T-this is what you wanted, right? I-I can read you like a book, Eto."]

I leapt back, embarassed from the sudden contact. My face was filled with red.

[Eto: "T-that was... my first kiss... you idiot..."]

Kaneki sat up, blushing, and touched his lips.

[Kaneki: "W-well, it was mine too, so be grateful, okay?"]

We both sat apart from each other awkwardly.

[Eto: "...How am I supposed to tease you if you do things like this before I can even make _my_ move?"]

[Kaneki: "You're just gonna have to attack faster, then. I won't let you get a hit in so easi-"]

I grabbed Kaneki by the collar and pressed my lips against his. Unlike before, it wasn't a simple peck. We remained in this position for a bit longer.

 _...So enlightening. This is what a real kiss is like. I better embrace this feeling._

Kaneki pulled away first, gasping for air.

He looked lightheaded and his face was as red as a strawberry.

[Kaneki: "I-I knew you were going to do something like that! D-dammit!"]

I smiled and looked at Kaneki's eyes with contempt.

[Eto: "I guess you're going to have to think faster, Kaneki..."]

 ** _Chapter 8_** **_~ Perception_**

 **END**


	9. My First Story

**2 Months After Chapter 8**

 _I finally finished writing it..._ _Two months is honestly not a long enough time for a full novel, but a story like this should suffice. I just have to have Kaneki read it and then find an editor that can help me. I'm not sure if they'll accept some 15 year-old kids story, but it's worth a shot._

 _During the past two months, I've expanded Aogiri, spreading the word of an organization that strives to aid ghouls in their struggle. More and more ghouls have been joining our cause, leading us to have over 50 members in only two months. Among these members are not only just your average ghoul, but some exceptional ones that even have a kakuja._

 _I've scoured the 24th ward looking for the rogue ghoul that recently escaped from China as his entire clan was slaughtered by ghouls. He had nowhere to go, so he wandered about the 24th ward, scavenging for food, until I stumbled upon him and convinced him to join Aogiri. Tatara is a pretty plain guy, but he's been proving himself to be loyal. I've made him an executive of Aogiri due to his capabilities._

 _Another ghoul I searched for was one that managed to escape Cochlea after years of imprisonment. Cochlea is a prison for ghouls, seen as indomitable and impossible to get out of. However, this ghoul, after being tortured for months, finally broke free of his chains and returned to the outside world. It was unknown where he was hiding, but like all other ghouls, he roamed about Tokyo trying to stay alive. I ended up finding him on the streets of the 13th ward. It seems he's already developed a half-kakuja. Yakumo Oomori, known as "Jason," in the CCG should be able to make Aogiri stronger. I can use his violent tendencies for some other things... like torture._

 _I've also already done some harm on the other offices that CCG has. I'm known as the SS rated "One-Eyed Owl." The CCG is on end trying to predict where I'll attack next. With Aogiri growing in numbers rapidly, they'll have no choice but to use all the investigators they have._

 _As for the One-Eyed King situation, I still haven't found someone worthy of that title. I've already spread rumors, saying things like "The One-Eyed King will set all ghouls free." It's like a religion or a God for ghouls. They need something to believe in, or they'll all eventually give up. There's many speculating that I am the One-Eyed King, but I really do believe there is someone out there that qualifies for the throne. Someone like me just isn't strong enough to hold that kind of burden._

 _...It was still early in the morning. Kaneki should be coming soon. I'll get out of bed and take a shower or something..._

 _knock knock knock_ *

 _...What? Why is he here so early...? I just woke up..._

I got up off the bed and unlocked the door, and to no one's surprise, Kaneki showed up.

[Eto: "...Well, you're early. I just woke up..."]

Kaneki held his chin with his hand.

[Kaneki: "A-ah... I just woke up really early and had nothing to do. ...That's it."]

 _Something seemed suspicious about what he said, but I didn't feel like asking him._

[Eto: "...Well, I finally finished my novel, so you can go ahead and read it if you want. It's on my desk."]

Kaneki was holding a large bag of items. It seemed to have clothes and books inside of them. ...Why would he bring those over to my apartment?

[Eto: "...In the meantime, I'll take a shower. No peeking, okay?"]

I teased him gleefully. Kaneki blushed and looked away sheepishly.

[Kaneki: "I...I won't. I promise!"]

I took off my clothes and set them aside. I climbed into the shower and turned it on.

 _...Did Kaneki run away from home? Why would he bring all of his stuff with him? I'm not sure if he noticed, but I realized that if Kaneki grabs his chin while saying something, he's lying. It's pretty obvious, anyway._

 _I don't really have a problem with him staying at my place for a while, but that'll mean I'll have to spend money on human food. I don't really have that much money, but if my novel goes well then it should make tons of cash for me._

After a long while, I got out of the shower and put some new clothes on and left my hair in a long, messy style.

[Eto: "...I'm back, Kaneki."]

He was immersed into the sheets of paper in front of him. I'm not even sure if he heard what I said.

[Kaneki: "...I've only skimmed through about 25% of this story, but I can already tell it's pretty great. I think this can be successful."]

He continued to examine my work quietly.

[Kaneki: "...Takatsuki Sen? Is that your pen name? ...It sounds nice."]

 _I was surprised at the fact that Kaneki noticed that I made a fake name for myself. I had to conceal my identity so no one would know who I really was._

[Eto: "Yeah, I came up with it myself. ...I'm glad you liked my story."]

Kaneki finally set aside all of the papers that he was reading and turned to me.

[Kaneki: "...This story... it's about the relationship between you and your father, right? I could tell just from the premise."]

 _Ah... of course he'd be able to figure something like that out. Kaneki was always pretty perceptive when it came to anything literature related. I've adopted a couple of skills from him._

[Eto: "U-uh... yeah, it is. ...I always wanted to describe and let out all of the feelings I've confined inside of me. Plus, it's easy to write a story from a simple plot like that."]

[Kaneki: "...I know where you're coming from. It feels great to have released all your bottled up emotions once in a while."]

There was a slight breeze in the air before he spoke again.

[Kaneki: "...You're going to go and submit this today, right? I'll come with you."]

[Eto: "...Wait. I know you're hiding something from me, Kaneki. ...What is it? Did you run away from home? Why are you carrying all that luggage with you?"]

Kaneki began to sweat profusely.

[Kaneki: "U-uh... it's not that I ran away from home, but it's more like I was kicked out. ...My aunt is in a tight spot with money, so I figured that I would leave so she doesn't have to waste money on me. ...It's for the best. I don't want to ruin an entire family just because of my own weakness."]

 _I knew it... I'll just have him stay with me for a bit. It'll be a nice opportunity for the both of us. ...This would also mean we have to sleep in the same bed every night. That should be interesting._

[Eto: "...I see. You can stay at my place, if you want to. I mean, you don't have a choice. You'd be homeless otherwise."]

 _I don't want to ask him for details. If Kaneki really wanted to, he could've just stayed here whenever he wanted._

[Kaneki: "T-thank you, Eto."]

He scratched his head and stood up to stretch his arms.

[Eto: "...Let's go, then. I know a place looking for up and coming authors. They should take my work into consideration."]

I took my packet of papers and carried it with me as Kaneki followed me closely. We left the room and headed over to our destination.

After a while of walking and conversating, we finally got to the place.

[Eto: "We're here..."]

I swallowed my anxiety. The building was quite large, and it was filled with people entering and exiting.

[Kaneki: "I-I'll just wait for you outside. G-good luck, Eto."]

[Eto: "O-okay... I don't know how long this will take, though."]

Kaneki stepped aside and stood around awkwardly.

I walked towards the entrance and entered the building. I quickly located one of the workers there and asked to publish a story.

They seemed a bit skeptical, but they eventually lead me to one of their editors. His name was Shunji Shiono, and he looked like a petty and cowardly man.

[Eto: "U-umm... I'd like to submit my story."]

The editor examined me carefully.

[Shiono: "You want to be an author, huh? ...You're quite young, aren't you?"]

I stood awkwardly in his office, twiddling my fingers.

[Eto: "Yeah, I'm 15... but still, you should still give me a chance..."]

[Shiono: "You know kid, this process isn't as simple as it seems. I recommend you to just wait until you're older before trying this."]

I clenched my fists in anger.

[Eto: "Please, just give me a chance..."]

I tried to give him my best puppy-eyed look, but to no avail.

[Shiono: "Nah, it's probably not worth my time. Get lost, kid."]

 _Dammit, what the hell? Why are they being like this? Can't they just give me a chance...? He didn't even glance at it. All he did was take the papers from me. ...I hope he realizes that what he did was wrong._

[Eto: "*sigh* Whatever. ...Your loss."]

I turned around and exited the building and met up with Kaneki. He asked how it went, and why it was so quick. I had to explain that the person I talked with was a complete and utter dipshit.

 _Honestly, I don't get these petty humans. They're missing out on a chance for some big bucks... I know my novel can be a huge success. Kaneki said so._

Kaneki and I left, with disappointed expressions. We walked quietly until someone behind me grabbed my shoulder.

[Shiono: "A-ah... actually, miss, we've just reviewed your story and it seems that it has some potential. P-please come with me back to the office..."]

 _Hah. Looks like someone caught him slacking. Serves him right. He was out of breath, he must have ran to try and catch me._

[Eto: "...Hmph. Don't judge a book by its cover, right?"]

Kaneki nodded alongside me.

[Shiono: "I-I'm sorry... something like this won't happen again, I promise! ...Or else I'll be fired!"]

Kaneki and I followed the adult back into the place we were just at. Again, Kaneki simply waited for me at the entrance as I went inside.

[Shiono: "S-so... you wish to publish this story as an official novel, right? It seems to be pretty good. I-I can get the job done for you, all I have to do is finish reading it and make some edits before publication. You can just sit back and relax, but I still need your contact information."]

 _...Sheesh. This guy sure was in a rush. I thought there were more steps to creating a real story, but it looks like it's really simple as long as you just write a decent enough story._

[Eto: "...Okay. Sounds good. I'll give you my apartment number..."]

Soon after, he pulled a sheet of paper out of one of his many drawers.

[Shiono: "...Ah, I almost forgot. You have to fill out some paperwork first. Just fill it out as needed, please..."]

 _Ugh... I thought he said I just have to sit down and relax. Whatever. I'll just get this done and over with..._

 _"Dear Kafka," by Takatsuki Sen. Simple things like genre, target audience, and a description were needed. Below that was personal info. Since I was a new author, I had to register myself._

 _"Parent/Guardian." ...I'm not sure what to put for this. I really don't have anyone..._

[Eto: "U-umm, mister, what do you put down if you have no parent or guardian?"]

He jumped up in shock.

[Shiono: "...Ah, isn't there anyone you can think of? Any adult...?"]

 _I thought about my father for a split second. Nope._

[Eto: "...I take care of myself, so I don't have any adults that I know of."]

The editor scratched his head and sighed heavily.

[Shiono: "Well, just leave it blank, I guess... I don't know why a little girl like you is living alone, but I won't delve into your personal matters."]

I finished filling out the paperwork and handed it to him.

[Eto: "So am I done now? I just have to wait until you're done editing it?"]

[Shiono: "I mean... yeah. It's a lot more complicated, but editors are the ones that do the entire process anyway..."]

 _I almost felt bad, but then I remembered how our first encounter went._

He sighed and muttered something to himself.

[Shiono: "...You can leave now. I'll show up at your door when the process is finished."]

I smiled, gleeful for having accomplished one of my many goals.

 _I finally did it...! Maybe I can actually be famous or something. I'll have to write more books, but I already have plenty of concepts and I love writing anyway. It's a win-win! I'll also be able to make tons of cash, so maybe I can spoil Kaneki a bit._

I skipped merrily towards the exit, and found Kaneki still standing along the sidewalk, with a book in his hands.

 _Hmm...? That book seems familiar. I've seen it somewhere, but I've never read it myself. All I know is that it's a romance novel._

 _...Wait, why is Kaneki reading romance?! What the hell?!_

Kaneki noticed my presence and quickly put the book back on the display shelves.

[Kaneki: "H-how'd it go?"]

[Eto: "It went just as planned! I just have to wait for the money to come in~"]

Kaneki held his arm tightly.

[Kaneki: "I-I see... That's good, I guess."]

 _It's time for me to ask what he was doing with that romance novel..._

[Eto: "Kaneki... Just what were you doing with that book? I _know_ what genre that was. You can't hide things like that from me!"]

He leapt back in shock and stumbled, almost tripping himself.

[Kaneki: "N-nothing! I just wanted to read something while you were in there! It took you a really long time and I got bored so-"]

 _His hands on his chin. He's lying... How does Kaneki not catch his own habits?_

[Eto: "You were probably trying to practice your technique, huh...? Trying to learn some moves to test on me, trying to become more experienced with me..."]

Kaneki gulped and darted his eyes back and forth as I pushed him into a corner.

[Eto: "...Hmph. You don't need to do stuff like that, Kaneki. Just be yourself. ...That's all I need from you."]

 _I don't want him to learn any weird things, and I want him to just use his own experience with me. It made me happy to know that he was trying to find ways to make me smile, though. It just felt... wrong to me, seeing Kaneki try to force himself to do that_ _kind of stuff against his will._

[Kaneki: "Fine, okay... Maybe we can read it together?"]

I became embarassed from the thought of us reading some cheesy romance book. I wouldn't be able to handle that kind of atmosphere.

[Eto: "U-uh... I'd prefer not to..."]

Upon hearing these words, Kaneki seemed disappointed.

[Kaneki: "Awh... okay..."]

 _I know Kaneki would use that situation to pressure me. I won't allow him to set up an opportunity like that._

[Eto: "...Let's head back to my place, now. I need you to help me choose what my next story should be about..."]

Kaneki's eyes perked up and seemed to shine.

[Kaneki: "...Oh! How about... a tragedy!"]

 _I've always wanted to write a tragedy story. I have a thing for main characters dying in their stories. It shows that not every story gets a happy ending._

[Eto: "Hmm... That'd be interesting, but I want to save that for one of my later works."]

 _I want something simpler to work with... Something that I have experienced._

[Kaneki: "...Okay. Then, what about a romance story?!"]

 _R-r-r-r-romance?! I mean, it's not a bad idea, but I'll have to add some sort of dark twist to it. I've decided everything that I'll write will have a dark theme behind it. It won't hurt to try and create some sort of bittersweet romance fiction..._

[Eto: "A-ahh.. uhh... I guess I'll try to write that... It wouldn't hurt to try. An author has to be versatile, right?"]

Kaneki nodded his head in agreement.

[Kaneki: "...You can come to me if you need any help with romance."]

[Eto: "...You're the last person I'd go to! You're just as inexperienced as me! ...Don't act like you're all high and mighty!"]

Kaneki chuckled quietly.

[Kaneki: "Well, I'm just saying... I'll always be an option if you need it."]

[Eto: "I won't need your help! ...Mark my words!"]

 _We continued to talk with each other joyfully until we reached my apartment. From there, the happiness only got more and more significant, and showed no signs of decreasing_ _any time soon._

 _...We really are meant for each other._

 ** _Chapter 9 ~ My First Story_**

 **END**


	10. For Those Imperfect

**One Month After Chapter 9**

 _Things have been going according to plan. Aogiri has successfully broken into Cochlea a while back and managed to get even more ghouls to join. Our army is becoming massive. We've claimed a hideout for our members in the 11th ward, and all members wear red cloaks to signify their Aogiri presence._

 _Information about my novel, "Dear Kafka," arrived a week ago. Shiono told me he was successfully able to get it on the shelves. It seems to be a best-seller, as it has already sold over 50,000 copies in one week. ...I think I've done pretty good for a debut story. I can already feel the money lining my pockets!_

 _Because of how good my debut as an upcoming novelist was, I quit my part-time job. Cash should be flowing in quickly, and I could use it to sustain Kaneki and I. My goals as a human are already complete. All I have to do is keep writing whenever I have free time._

 _My ghoul rating has been increased to SSS. Aogiri is probably the biggest threat to the CCG at the moment. They still barely manage to stop my rampages. At this rate, the CCG will either fall or hopelessly try to defend themselves._

 _The only negative about Aogiri right now, is that we only have about 3 strong members, with the rest as small fry. There are over 150 ghouls among us. I'll have to find more ghouls with power, or Aogiri will eventually collapse._

 _That's why I'm here, visiting an old grave of the one who raised me. Noroi._

 _...He died while trying to protect me. I ended up burying his body some place, with a poorly made grave._

 _I th_ _ink my kagune's powerful enough to create life. If I manipulate it properly, I should be able to use Noroi's body as a catalyst for the kagune to become sentient. Essentially, I'll create a living kagune. With it's regenerative properties, it should be impossible for it to die._

 _I_ _n life, you taught me how to live in this twisted world. And now, in death, you'll continue to be able to support me in my journey. You won't retain conciousness, or remember yourself... so I think you should be called something different. From now onwards, you shall be known as... Noro._

After removing his body from the grave, I unleashed my kagune and began toying with it. Eventually, something clicked. It became... _alive._

My kagune spun around and detached into his body, covering the corpse in a kakuja-like human form. It eventually emerged from the grave, standing on its own. Like controlling my own body parts, I can command Noro to whatever I tell it to do.

 _If I could do this to other dead bodies, Aogiri would be unstoppable. Unfortunately, my kagune is limited and using it like this further will render me extremely weak. I'll just have one super-soldier by my side._

I grabbed Noro's old mask, which was beside his body, and put it on him.

 _He looks... really menacing like this. The Noroi I knew was gentle, and would protect me no matter what, even if it cost his own life. The being that stood before me was nothing more than a mere pawn, a tool to be used for my own purposes. ...There really isn't a way to bring back the dead._

I brought him back to the Aogiri hideout in the 11th ward, and introduced him as another leader. I took a red cloak and put it on Noro, to conceal his kagune body.

 _Now... what should I do? I've done everything right so far, besides finding a candidate for the One-Eyed King. I've heard of a "binge eater" that recently abandoned home and is now wandering the streets of Tokyo, eating any appealing humans it sees. I can... maybe try to get her to join Aogiri. I'm not sure where her whereabouts are, though._

 _There's also a problem with my father. He made "contact" with me, if you can even call it that. During my third attack on the 2nd ward's CCG office, I was heavily wounded and on the verge of death. However, another Owl came from above and saved my life. It was my father. He was watching and came to save me. He didn't say anything, so I just tried to escape while I could._

 _I don't know if he truly meant to save me or not. I should probably consult him, but honestly... I really don't feel like it._

 _Ugh, I'll just head back to my apartment and write some stuff. There's not much to do anyway._

I walked at a brisk pace from Aogiri's headquarters to my safe haven.

 _You know, with my money, I can probably afford a house or something. ...I don't really feel like moving all my things, though, so I'll just keep the apartment for now. Plus, it's much easier to manage than a house._

On my way back, I smelled the scent of ripe blood. Human blood.

 _...Was a ghoul eating here? Perhaps I can try and tell them about Aogiri._

I turned the corner and walked into a nearby alleyway. In front of me stood a long, purple-haired female ghoul with glasses and blood drenched all over her face and clothes.

 _...Is this... the binge eater? I've heard that she had luscious purple hair and wore glasses. It was strange coming from another woman, but she certainly was... beautiful._

The ghoul turned around and looked at me, with both kakugan gleaming in the darkness.

[Eto: "...Hey. You're that "binge eater," aren't you? I don't know why nor do I care about your eating habits, but maybe you can do something productive and join me."]

She tilted her head and wore a confused look, before smiling.

[Ghoul: "...You're the leader of that group, right? The one fighting the CCG. What was it called... oh right, Aogiri something."]

The female ghoul licked the blood off of her hands and pushed up her glasses before standing on her two feet.

[Eto: "...It's Aogiri Tree. Would you like to join us? We fight for the freedom of all ghouls."]

[Ghoul: "...I'm not interested in something like that. I just want to eat. ...Humans sure are tasty, don't you agree?"]

 _...Of course. Someone like her doesn't care about her own kind. Selfish to the end, only caring about her own pleasure and doing anything to maintain it. ...I thought it was pathetic, but if she really wanted to keep living like that, then she's free to._

[Eto: "Well, can you at least give me your name? I'm sure this won't be the last time we meet."]

 _I had an uncanny feeling about her. Maybe it was the fact that she seemed strong. I noticed that she wielded a rinkaku type kagune, extremely versatile in the way it's used to kill. That kagune could be dangerous, yet she wastes its potential to keep killing humans over and over again..._

The ghoul in front of me hesitated for a bit before responding.

[Ghoul: "...Rize. Rize Kamishiro."]

[Eto: "...Alright. I'll leave you alone, for now, Rize. Goodbye."]

She inspected me with curiosity.

[Rize: "Hmm... good night."]

I walked away first, and heard a couple of more munching noises before dead silence. I assumed she left soon after I did.

 _...How conspicuous. It's whatever, I guess. I'll just go back to doing what I was supposed to do. People don't like when I try to meddle in their business._

 _That reminds me, during our last encounter about a week ago, Arima told me about some guy named Akihiro Kanou. Apparently, he's a doctor that specializes in using ghouls for medicinal purposes. And... the most interesting part is that he's attempting to create artificial half-ghouls. Ghouls... like me. I guess half-ghouls are naturally stronger than normal ghouls, for some reason._

 _I should try and make contact with Kanou. I'm sure it'll be beneficial somehow. If I remember correctly, he worked in the CCG for a while before taking hold of his own workplace... I think it was called Kanou General Hospital. I'll come to visit some time tomorrow._

I finally got home and swung open the door.

[Eto: "I'm back!"]

Kaneki was laying on my bed, exhausted. I assumed he had just finished his homework, as he still attended school.

[Kaneki: "A-ah... welcome back."]

He stood up, embarassed to be seen on my bed.

 _Well, it was more like our bed. For the past 2 months, we've been sleeping together in the same bed. It's taken a while to get used to, but I guess Kaneki just still hasn't became accustomed to it yet. We still haven't made any moves, not yet, at least._

 _I've been out all day, so being with Kaneki is really refreshing. I decided to tell him about my day, and he told me about his. Kaneki has exams coming up, so that was why he was so exhausted when I came._

 _I always tell Kaneki everything. All my plans, about Aogiri, the binge eater, and Kanou. It works wonders when I need to release stress._

[Kaneki: "The binge eater... you said her name was Rize. What did she look like?"]

[Eto: "...Hmm? She had purple hair and wore glasses. ...Why? Are you interested in her or something?"]

Kaneki suddenly jumped up in response.

[Kaneki: "No! ...No, of course not. I'm just being careful, just in case something happens again. ...And the only girl I'm interested in is you, Eto. No one else."]

I was flattered by his compliments.

 _I just wanted to see his reaction if I said something like that. I wasn't expecting that last part, though._

[Eto: "You can be so cheesy sometimes, you know that?"]

Kaneki scratched his head and chuckled.

[Kaneki: "Well, I try my best..."]

After a long while of chatting, we decided to ready ourselves for bed.

[Eto: "Tomorrow will be another busy day for the both of us. Let's rest up so we have energy!"]

The lights were off and we both laid in bed together.

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah... Good night, Eto."]

I wrapped my arms around him tightly.

[Eto: "...Night. Love you!"]

Kaneki wriggled in my embrace.

[Kaneki: "You don't have to keep telling me that, you know. You're the one being cheesy, not me..."]

[Eto: "...Hmph, I just wanted to remind you."]

[Kaneki: "...I won't forget. I won't forget the feelings that we share. It just embarasses me that you're so lovey-dovey, especially since you're trying to cuddle with me while we sleep in the same bed."]

 _What, does he not want me to give him my love and affection? I guess it's a little uncomfortable for someone like Kaneki, but I'm sure he'll get used to it. It just feels unusual to have someone love you when you've never even had someone that cared in the first place._

[Eto: "...I can go _further_ if you want me to. Is that what you want?"]

 _This was a bluff. I actually don't have the guts to do something like this. Knowing Kaneki, he'll either be super embarassed or come back with a witty response._

I could simply tell that he was blushing right about now, without even looking at his face.

[Kaneki: "...I wouldn't mind, but not now. Maybe later, okay?"]

Now I was the one starting to blush.

[Eto: "What do you mean by that?! You have to give me a direct answer! Yes, or no!"]

He chuckled to himself quietly.

[Kaneki: "We're just children, Eto. We shouldn't even be doing something like that in the first place."]

[Eto: "I don't really think morality matters anymore. How many hundreds of people have I killed in my lifetime? You might be pure, but as far as I know, I'm far from innocent."]

[Kaneki: "Pfft, I'm not even close to innocent. Everyone has some sort of darkness in them."]

 _It was true Kaneki was not entirely... pure. He was broken, lost, destroyed. He's seen so many things that has corrupted his mind, and I'm the only thing keeping him intact. If he ever lost me, the emotions he's kept hidden inside will flood, and it'll make him go mad. I won't- no, I can't let that happen. Never._

[Eto: "Yeah, but you shouldn't put yourself on the same level as me. I've killed people, ruined so many families, all for my own selfish purposes... you? You've done nothing wrong. I'm the one going to hell."]

Kaneki sighed before speaking again.

[Kaneki: "You tell me not to compare myself to you, but you're the one treating yourself unfairly. Don't put yourself below others. Just because you do something that society deems wrong, it doesn't mean that _you're_ wrong. Sure, you've done some messed up things, but I know you're just trying to do it for the greater good."]

Kaneki recollected his thoughts.

[Kaneki: "Life is full of decisions. You'll make good ones, and you'll make bad ones. That's just how life is. It's all up to you if you think what you're doing is just. And... in your case, I know you're doing the right thing. It's not like you're evil. ...You, you've saved my life. That's a righteous thing in itself."]

He quieted himself once more.

[Kaneki: "...So if you're going to hell, then I'm coming with."]

 _...This is the pinnacle of happiness. I was at a loss for words. All kinds of feelings surged through me. I felt my confidence, my motivation, and everything else skyrocket 10 times the amount it was before. I've never felt this invigorated before._

I tightened my grip on Kaneki.

[Eto: "Mm..."]

I couldn't say anything for a while.

 _I'm conflicted. I know Kaneki means good, but I know what I have done is wrong. It's not just society, but also me, that thinks its immoral. ...But what he says is also partly correct. This is for the greater good. For the world._

 _I think that I... if I do what I believe is right, I won't go to hell. I'll be in paradise with Kaneki._

 _...Yeah, that's what I want to do._

[Eto: "...Thank you."]

I pulled Kaneki closer to me.

[Kaneki: "...Don't worry about it. This is the least I can do. You're working so much harder than me."]

He shuffled under the blankets.

[Kaneki: "...You deserve the right to be happy."]

I held him even tighter.

[Eto: "...I really wouldn't know what I'd do without you."]

I felt tears gathering in my eyes.

 _What'd I do to have someone like Kaneki by my side...? I used to be nothing, until I met him. Now, I feel like I'm on top of the world. It's such an intense feeling._

[Kaneki: "...Night, Eto."]

[Eto: "Y-you too..."]

The night consumed us as we drifted into the relaxation of our own minds. Like an enveloping darkness, the vision we shared became a simple reflection of our lives.

 ** _Chapter 10 ~ For Those Imperfect_**

 **END**


	11. Euphoria

**The Morning After Chapter 10**

I opened my eyes to a room filled with darkness.

 _Ugh... what time is it?_

I got up and looked at the clock, and it was already 10 AM.

 _Kaneki wakes up so much earlier than me... it's probably because he has to go to school, but still, I have lots of things to do today._

I performed my daily routine and proceeded to exit the room and begin my day.

 _First things first... I'll go visit this so-called Dr. Kanou. Everyone knows head doctors don't actually work that much, so he should be free to talk today._

I dressed in normal casual clothing with my hair tied up in my usual ditzy bun.

 _Takatsuki Sen is supposed to be clumsy and eccentric. This is the persona I've chosen for my human life... It works pretty well, if I say so myself._

I stood in front of the hospital where Kanou was located. I walked in, and talked to the person at the desk for permission to see Dr. Kanou. Just as I thought, he was free and it was surprisingly easy to get in.

 _Hmm... no wonder so many people die by ghouls daily. All I had to do was give my fake identification and I'm granted free access of this building filled with humans. ...Good thing that's not what I'm here for, though._

I walked through multiple flights of stairs in the hospital, and accidentally bumped into what seemed like an older man with aged, white hair and wrinkles on his face wearing some sort of lab coat. I assumed he was a doctor.

[Eto: "...Woops! Sorry about that..."]

I scratched my head and chuckled clumsily.

The man looked down at me and wore a curious expression.

[Man: "...Why are you up here? Are you here to see someone?"]

[Eto: "A-ah, yeah, I'm here to see Dr. Kanou...?"]

He stepped back, and smiled.

[Man: "...That should be me. What business do you have?"]

 _Oh... this wrinkly old dude is Dr. Kanou? He looks just like a normal doctor, but using ghouls for his craft is a concept the world has never seen before. It'll be a tool worth using._

[Eto: "...Let's get to the point. I am the leader of Aogiri Tree, and I've heard that you've been working on a couple of... _experiments_ , no?"]

He smiled cunningly. It seemed that he finally revealed his true colors.

[Kanou: "...I see. Come, follow me. You wish to escape this bird-cage, don't you?"]

 _By bird-cage, he meant this world that ghouls live in. Unable to escape this prison, we are trapped and discriminated against as if we were inferior beings._

[Eto: "Yeah... that's right. I think your work can be of some use to me. I can also fund your research if needed."]

 _I threw my "Takatsuki Sen" persona out the window and transformed into what I called the "ghoul" me. The ghoul that strives to escape the bird-cage._

[Kanou: "I'll show you the products of my experiment. There haven't been any successful results, but there have been many... _interesting_ prototypes."]

I followed him outside of the building until we reached a dark and secluded abandoned building. It was pitch black and showed no sign of recent entry. We entered and Kanou continued to show me the way to his secret lab.

There was a locked basement door without any sort of key for it. Kanou revealed a hidden button near some debris, and pressed it to unlock the door.

 _Wow... he went over the top with this kind of security, didn't he? There's no way anyone would be able to get in here without the man himself._

I finally got to the place I wanted. There was a "green" atmosphere and sterile feeling in the room. There were... _people_ contained in cases with only a tube attached to their mouths.

[Eto: "...So, tell me what you've accomplished, Kanou."]

He walked over to one of his experiments in the center of his lab, and opened it.

Out came a monstrous looking entity, something that was no longer human nor ghoul.

[Kanou: "...This was originally a human. I tried to implant the kakuhou of a ghoul into it, but the result was... strange, to say the least."]

I examined the beast further. It was quite large, with its organs swollen and bulging out as if it were going to burst at any moment. The creature groaned and could barely move. It was a grotesque sight.

[Kanou: "But... this is one of the only prototypes that had a different outcome. All of the other humans died when I tried to transfer a kakuhou into them. Their body couldn't handle the sudden change, and they died almost instantly."]

He admired his work until describing it further.

[Kanou: "...This, is far from successful, but it goes to show that creating artificial half-ghouls is surely possible."]

I looked at the creature, then looked at Kanou.

[Eto: "...What's your purpose for doing this? What'll you gain from it?"]

He sighed and began to walk about the laboratory.

[Kanou: "Nothing much, to be fair. I just believe ghouls can have a far more useful application than just being made into quinques. It's... wasted potential. Ghouls certainly are fascinating creatures."]

 _Well... he does what he wants to, I guess. His research seems promising enough. I don't have anything to lose from this. It's a win-win for Kanou and I._

[Eto: "I... see. I believe you'll be able to achieve a satisfying result soon enough. I want you to join Aogiri, but all you have to do is keep working like this. I'll reward you with some funds in exchange for your cooperation."]

He rubbed his chin with his hands and thought for a moment.

 _There's no reason for Kanou to say no. It's not like anyone will find out he's in Aogiri, so he won't be in any danger. And even if he were, Aogiri would be able to protect him._

[Kanou: ...Alright. I'll accept your offer. However, one condition."]

I raised my eyebrow, slightly confused.

[Kanou: "...Don't question the morality of my work."]

 _...Hmm? I... don't mind. Why does he think that I would care? I've already done plenty of messed up shit, enough that something like this wouldn't phase me anymore. I... shouldn't feel any remorse. Nothing negative can come out of this deal. ...Unless something goes wrong, but the chances of that happening is pretty much zero._

[Eto: "Uh... okay. Whatever you say."]

Kanou stood quietly, examining the contents of his lab.

[Eto: "I'll... be leaving now. Good luck."]

He seemed to ignore me as I exited through the hidden trapdoor.

 _Sigh... that was strange. That's one thing down, though. Next up is..._?

My mind came to a blank.

 _I... can't think of anything to do. Is there really nothing? I can try to conduct another raid on the CCG, but it'd be risky as they're protecting themselves a little bit better._

 _No One-Eyed King candidates. The contact with the binge eater resulted in nothing. My father... I can't do anything about him. ...And Kaneki is probably still at school. It was_ _just about afternoon._

I wandered about the bustling streets of Tokyo and saw something in the corner of my eye. In the distance, atop a building, there seemed to be a clown, _laughing._

 _Hmm...? What was that?_

I stopped and tried to redirect my gaze onto what I saw. However, as soon as I turned my head, the figure vanished, as if it were never there.

 _Huh. Probably just my imagination. I just need to take a break, maybe write a little..._

I changed my direction and headed towards my apartment, opening the door and feeling a wave of relief.

 _I haven't felt this nice in a while... the only thing that could make this better is if Kaneki were here._

 _...There's no use in wanting him by my side if he's not able to. I should get some work done today, since I've got literally nothing else to do._

I sat at my desk and let my imagination run, letting the floodgates drip onto the paper I was scribbling on.

Hours that felt like minutes passed, and I had just finished the climax of the story.

 _Whew... I feel really good about this submission. It might just be better than my last one._

I laid my head back and sighed.

 _I've...I've done everything I needed to do. Everything should be running smoothly for at least a couple of months. I don't have to worry about anything._

I put my head on my desk, exhausted, and closed my eyes.

 _I can finally... rest for a while._

Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

About one hour passed, and I awoke upon hearing the door quietly open.

[Kaneki: "Oh... Were you asleep, Eto?"]

I tried to sit up as fast as possible, embarassed from him seeing my sleeping face.

[Eto: "A-ah... Yeah."]

Kaneki set aside his belongings on the floor besides him.

[Kaneki: "...Sorry that I woke you up. You can just go back to sleep, if you want to. I'll try not to make too much noise."]

 _Modest as always... I was waiting for him to come home, yet he thinks that I don't want to spend time with him just because I was tired. I won't let something as trivial as that get in the way of my relationship with Kaneki._

I stood up from my desk and hugged Kaneki from behind.

[Eto: "...I'm good. I want to be with you for a while."]

He blushed, and stood still as I didn't allow him to escape from my grasps.

[Kaneki: "O-oh... okay."]

We remained in this position for a good, long while. It was quite comfortable, for me, at least.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... I've got things to do..."]

I let go of him and pouted, crossing my arms.

[Eto: "Okay. I see how it is."]

He turned around and saw how I was acting. He remained silent and just stared at me.

[Eto: "...I'm just kidding! I-I'm sorry!"]

He sighed and sat down, taking out what looked like papers from his backpack and laying it in front of him.

 _He must be stressed or something. Kaneki usually doesn't act like this, but I guess this time of the year is always quite exhausting._

[Eto: "Hey... if you need anything, I'm free for this whole day! ...So, if you need to loosen up or something, just ask."]

Kaneki smiled to himself.

[Kaneki: "...I know. But I don't really need it right now. Thank you, for being here with me. Just that is more than enough to give me motivation."]

 _Even though I've heard these kinds of words so many times, I've never stopped feeling so... fluffy. He can say it as many times as he wants, just his pure acknowledgement and praise_ _can make me feel like this._

I blushed a bit and returned to my seat besides Kaneki.

[Eto: "...Alright. I'll just go back to work then. Do you wanna give my new novel a read when you're done...?"]

Kaneki studied away, glancing back and forth between piles of notes.

[Kaneki: "...Yeah, sure. It'll be a good way for me to relax, because your stories are always so captivating."]

 _Oh, Kaneki. You don't realize how captivating you are._

[Eto: "Just tell me when you're ready."]

About another hour and a half passed, and the sun was almost completely down.

Kaneki stretched his arms and stood up, signifying that he was finally done studying.

He leaned over my shoulder, peering into what I had written.

[Eto: "A-ah, I'm about 75% finished with this story, I think. It's about an innocent child who has their life completely turned upside-down after a series of tragic events..."]

He grabbed the stack of papers and turned it to the first page, examining the first couple of paragraphs.

[Kaneki: "Hmm... sounds a bit like me, doesn't it?"]

[Eto: "E-eh? ...Well, in a way, I guess so. I do admit that I snuck in a couple of references to you, but you'll be the only one to notice them."]

Kaneki continued to quickly skim through the pages, intrigued.

[Kaneki: "...I think this one's better than your last."]

I looked up, surprised.

[Eto: "...And what makes you think that?"]

[Kaneki: "...This story isn't a simple tragedy. It shows how you can prevail through darkness, even if it seems like nothing will ever get better. It keeps that feeling of suspense, not being too dark nor bright, leaving the reader to have a sense of balance."]

 _The story I was writing was pretty much a twisted version of Kaneki's life with horror elements embedded into it. Because of that, I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just tragedy over and over. I wanted to make sure the protagonist would have a source of light, like how I am towards Kaneki._

[Eto: "...That's what I was aiming for. Looks like I did a good job, after all. ...Thanks."]

We spent the rest of our day talking, senseless banter that made us feel like a married couple.

Before we knew it, it had already turned dark and Kaneki was on the verge of falling asleep.

We laid on the bed together, lights turned off.

[Kaneki: "...Ugh. I can't wait 'till my next break from school."]

[Eto: "You'll be fine. You're really smart, aren't you?"]

[Kaneki: "...Yeah, but that doesn't mean it'll be easy."]

 _I've never had real experience with school. I learned everything I knew hands-on or from Noro. ...But I'm glad I don't have to deal with school. It sounds like such a useless hassle._

[Eto: "...Well, night, Kaneki."]

There was no response.

I turned to him and heard his soft breathing, meaning that he had already fell asleep.

 _Jeez. He didn't even say good night._

 _...It's a well deserved rest, though. Maybe I should do something for him, like a lap pillow._

 _...What am I thinking? Something like that is way too embarassing for me. ...Well, it actually doesn't sound that bad._ _I've done... a lot more than that in the heat of the moment. My confession to Kaneki was half-assed and couldn't be any worse, but I still managed to pull it off somehow. The awkwardness of it all keeps me up sometimes._

I eventually drifted asleep, unable to keep my eyes open any longer.

 _I feel like... this marks the end of something. I'm not sure, but the atmosphere today has felt as if... I don't know. It's just uncanny. I hope things can remain normal, just like this, for as long as possible._

 ** _Chapter 11 ~ Euphoria_**

 **END**


	12. Depravity

**3 YEARS AFTER CHAPTER 11**

[Voice: "...Wake up."]

Something echoed in my subconsciousness.

[Voice: "...Kaneki! Wake up, you sleepyhead!"]

I felt a heavy weight crash onto my chest, and my eyes shot open upon the impact.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto?! W-what are you do-"]

Her face was inches away from mine. She sat on my chest, still half-dressed. Her eyes peered into my mine with a soft smile.

[Eto: "It's time for you to wake up for school, dummy..."]

 _Ugh...that's right. School. No matter how many years pass by, it feels as if I'll never be able to escape the hell that is school._

[Kaneki: "I-I could've woken up by myself, you know..."]

She wore an expression of disbelief and crossed her arms.

[Eto: "Last time you said that, you were late for school. And, it's fun for me to wake you up like that."]

I grumbled to myself.

[Kaneki: "Yeah, fun for you. ...Put some clothes on."]

She giggled to herself as I walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom to prepare myself for the coming day.

 _We moved out from our old, tiny apartment. Eto had managed to get more than enough money from her last novel to buy an entire house, just for her and I. It's a little big, especially for two people, but it's whatever. That one novel she had written about three years ago happened to sell more than "Dear Kafka." It was quite amazing to see her blow up over the internet as a famed horror-tragedy novelist. I'm... proud of her, to say the least._

 _Eto was able to establish a stable career for herself, whilst maintaining Aogiri. She's been keeping up her schedule with Aogiri, and now most of Tokyo knows it as a ghoul "terrorist" organization. It's currently the CCG's biggest threat, and they've taken counteractive measures to crack down on Aogiri numbers._

I finished cleaning myself and put on my school uniform. I walked out onto the living room, where Eto had laid a neat breakfast of bacon and eggs on the table for me.

 _Well, even though she's a half-ghoul, Eto still insists on making me breakfast everyday. It's actually... pretty good, frankly speaking. I tell her that it's delicious, but her ghoul taste buds seem to tell her_ _otherwise_.

Eto grabbed a nearby coat and put it on herself. She was beginning to put on her shoes for an early book signing.

 _Eto's made it a point to wake up earlier than me for some reason. Even if she doesn't have appointments or book signings, she wakes up ahead of me, early enough to put out food and a cup of coffee on the table every morning._

I sat down and quickly began to eat.

 _I've expressed my gratitude towards Eto time and time again. No sixteen year-old lives a life this spoiled. Seriously, who else lives alone with a beautiful well-renowned author at the age of sixteen? I've said it so much, but it feels like a fairy tale. I just can't believe that this is how things turned out._

I scarfed down the food in front of me, leaving only the cup of coffee.

[Kaneki: "Be safe out there, Eto. The CCG are beginning to make moves."]

Eto reached for the doorknob, but paused.

[Eto: "Don't worry, it's impossible for my cover to be blown. And I've got everything at Aogiri under control. _You_ should be the one being safe today. There's a reason why there are more doves out than usual, and that's because there are more ghouls roaming about."]

I gulped down the remaining bit of coffee I had left.

[Kaneki: "O-oh. I'll try to be more careful, then."]

She had a serious, but worried look on her face.

[Eto: "Don't say 'try'. Promise me. Promise me you won't get into trouble."]

I sighed, feeling like a child being lectured by his mother.

[Kaneki: "Y-yeah. I promise."]

 _She has all the reason to be protective of me. After what's happened with that ghoul who impaled me and almost left me on death's doorstep, Eto has been set on making sure I never get into that situation again._

Eto breathed a sigh of relief and opened the door slightly.

[Eto: "...Okay. I'll see you later, Kaneki."]

[Kaneki: "Good luck at the book signing."]

I got up from the table and began to gather my school belongings. On top of making a breakfast, she also packed lunch for me.

I smiled to myself, putting the lunchbox inside of my bag. I proceeded to leave the house a couple of minutes after Eto.

 _I usually walk to school with Hide, but he took a little bit longer to get to the place where we meet up everyday._

Eventually, Hide came into view, obnoxiously waving his hands while yelling my name.

[Hide: "Yo, Kaneki!"]

[Kaneki: H-hey, Hide..."]

 _Hide always brings up Eto and the relationship between us. He always asks if we've done 'it', yet. I didn't understand what he meant years ago, but now I do. I always make sure to deny those false allegations. Eto and I haven't gone that far... yet._

[Hide: "Have you heard about what's happening with the ghouls and the CCG? It's pretty crazy, dude!"]

 _Hide doesn't know that Eto is a half-ghoul. I've made sure to retain that kind of information from him. He just knows that I'm living with a girl alone, and that she's really cute. I don't know if he's jealous, but Hide always says that I'm lucky._

[Kaneki: "Yeah, I have. It's kinda scary, to be honest..."]

[Hide: "Have you ran into any ghouls before? Do they look like crazy monsters? I've never seen one in real life before!"]

 _It was strange, the fact that I was secretly associated with the leader of a large scale ghoul organization. I also never told Hide about that one time I almost died from a run-in with a ghoul._

[Kaneki: "I actually have seen a couple of ghouls before. They look... just like humans. They camouflage with human civilization. You can't tell the difference between them until you're dead."]

[Hide: "E-ehhh?! I always thought they were like Lovecraftian horror monsters or something... but how do you know all this stuff? You've almost been eaten before?"]

 _He always manages to sneak in a couple questions here and there. Hide is surprisingly quite intuitive and intelligent, despite his outside appearance._

[Kaneki: "Well... that's a story for another day."]

[Hide: "Whaaat?! You can't leave me hanging like that, dude! Why won't you tell me?!"]

We continued to argue and bicker at each other until we finally reached the school. Hide and I separated, and I returned to my monotone life of being a nobody at school.

 **After School**

 _Finally, it's over. I'm sick and tired of school, and it's only halfway through the year. I made plans with Hide though, so I have to message Eto that I'll be late._

I sent a text message to Eto, saying that I'll be going some place with Hide. She quickly responded, saying that it was alright as she had other things to do as well. It probably had to due with Aogiri.

 _I almost forgot that Eto bought me a phone so I could contact her in emergencies. I rarely use it except for that purpose, though. I've never really been that tech-savvy._

I saw Hide's head in the distance, and I briskly walked towards him.

[Kaneki: "...You said we were going to Anteiku, right?"]

Hide put his arms behind his head, casually strolling along.

[Hide: "Yeah, there's this really cute girl I want to talk to that works there."]

I sighed and stared at him.

[Kaneki: "...Are you serious? You're really that desperate?"]

[Hide: "Dude, you're the one who got a girlfriend at the age of twelve. It's hard not to be jealous, okay?! Let me live my youth to the fullest!"]

 _Well, I guess that's how most people my age would perceive my current lifestyle. I can't blame them, even I think that_ our _relationship is strange._

Hide and I continued to talk about his inability to establish a proper love life. I told him over and over again that nothing will happen if you try to force a relationship, but he constantly denies it over and over again.

We finally reached Anteiku and sat down at one of the round tables.

[Kaneki: "So? Who's this girl you were talking about?"]

Hide pointed to one of the employees serving another table.

[Hide: "That one! The one with the blue hair! She's pretty cute, right?"]

 _He's so loud... I'm pretty sure the girl Hide was talking about overheard what he said._

[Kaneki: "Uh... I don't think she's your type. Have you even talked to her?"]

Hide scratched his head with his finger.

[Hide: "...Of course I have!"]

 _Whenever he scratches his head with his finger, it means he's lying. I don't know if Hide does it on purpose or not, but it's really obvious._

[Kaneki: "Well, if you're so interested in her, then shoot your shot."]

[Hide: U-uh... okay! I've got this!"]

Hide prepared himself mentally and made sure to make himself look proper.

[Hide: "E-excuse me! Waitress with the blue-purple hair!"]

The blue haired girl turned around, and began to walk towards our table. Upon looking at her face, I realized she really was pretty. Looks like Hide does have good taste after all.

She reached our table and asked for our order.

[Hide: "H-hey miss... what's your name?"]

The waitress seemed to be a bit annoyed at his question. She probably knew he was hitting on her.

[Girl: "...It's Touka..."]

Hide used this bit of information to strike up a conversation, constantly complimenting her. Touka looked disturbed and uncomfortable the entire time, but I guess Hide couldn't read the atmosphere.

As they continued chatting, my eyes wandered around the room, until I saw a purple-haired woman with glasses reading a book. The woman aside, the book she was reading was by Takatsuki Sen. ...Or Eto, for short.

 _I really wanna go over to that girl and talk to her, but she seems a bit older than me. ...I don't want to disturb her. I don't feel comfortable talking to other girls like that, either._

The graceful woman caught wind of me looking at her, and our eyes met.

 _O-oops...! What do I do now?!_

Hide seemed to also realize the situation I was in. Touka had walked off to another table.

[Hide: "Psst, Kaneki, you wanna talk to that girl over there, right? Go for it! She's totally your type."]

[Kaneki: "Hide... did you forget I'm already taken? ...I'm not like that. I just wanna have an innocent conversation about my favorite author with her."]

We continued to whisper back and forth to avoid attention. I had decided to go over to where that purple haired woman was sitting, and I took a seat across from her. Hide kept trying to talk to Touka while I was gone.

[Kaneki: "A-ah... excuse me. That book you're reading, it's by Takatsuki Sen, isn't it? She's one of my favorite authors."]

The woman shifted her hair behind her ears and spoke.

[Woman: "Yes, it's one of her more recent works. She really captivates you with her words, doesn't she? I want to meet her one day."]

 _It seems like she actually was interested! I've always wanted someone to talk about this kind of stuff with besides Eto._

[Kaneki: "She had a book signing just this morning, actually!"]

We continued to chat back and forth, immersed in the world of imagination.

I had learned that her name was Rize Kamishiro, and that she was the same age as Eto, eighteen. She enjoyed books as well, which allowed us to talk without discomfort.

The sun was beginning to set, and I was ready to leave. Hide had already left a while back, giving up on the waitress and leaving a thumbs up as he walked out. For some reason though, Touka, the waitress, kept looking towards Rize and I, as if she were suspicious of something.

While we were both standing up, preparing to leave, Rize suddenly asked me something.

[Rize: "Um... Kaneki, can you... perhaps, walk me home?"]

 _Huh? I didn't tell Rize that I was in a relationship because it felt unneeded. ...Well, it won't hurt to help someone, right?_ _I hope she doesn't get the wrong idea._

[Kaneki: "Uhh... sure...?"]

[Rize: "Sorry, I've just been on edge lately, with all the news about ghouls and the like."]

 _Something felt... off. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. The mood was strange, almost uncanny. I felt like I was forgetting something important, and I struggled to remember what it was._

[Kaneki: "It's alright, I understand."]

We exited Anteiku together, and Touka looked at us with pain as we left.

The way to her house was completely opposite of Eto's. There weren't many houses this way, and it had already begun to turn dark.

[Rize: "Ah, my house is just around the corner here. Thank you, Kaneki, for escorting me."]

[Kaneki: "Yeah, no problem. I really enjoyed our time together. It's not often you find a fellow bookworm, so it made me really happy to see you were reading that book."]

All of a sudden, Rize pushed herself onto me, her head on my chest.

[Kaneki: "U-uh... R-Rize?!"]

[Rize: "...Sorry. There's just one more thing I want from you."]

My heart sank. I felt a pit in my stomach. I felt everything I did that day, that day where I had experienced death itself. Everything turned pitch black, and I struggled straight.

I finally remembered what it was that I had forgot. A flashback to something Eto had said years ago, about a binge eater on the loose.

I asked her what the binge eater looked like, just so I could be safe, in case I ever ran into it. Eto said she had _purple hair,_ and _glasses._

...I realized this far too late. My mind went blank after this epiphany, and my body paralyzed, just like before.

 _I-I_ _have to get myself out of this situation, but she's already on me..._

 _I have to do something. Anything! Or it'll just be like before. Eto will go crazy if she sees me on the verge of death again._

 _I don't want Eto to feel that kind of pain. Not again. I won't let my mistakes get in the way. Not... not this time. I've failed over and over, but this is the last chance that I have._

I was about to fall backwards, but I quickly caught myself and stood on my own two feet.

Rize lunged towards me, mouth open, kakugan activated, and kagune emerging from behind her.

I evaded her lunge by jumping to the side, kicking her head. I tried to get up and run, but her kagune was rushing towards me at a speed that I couldn't outrun. It grazed my leg and slowed down my running pace, leaving me no choice but to try and fight back for as long as possible.

I leaned against a wall and awaited her attack. Rize's kagune came towards me, smashing into the wall behind me. I ducked downwards and slid under the kagune lodged besides me.

As she struggled to pull her kagune, I ran as fast as possible and pulled out my phone. I dialed Eto's phone number, and as expected, she responded as fast as possible.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto! Ghoul... chasing me... at the construction site, near... Anteiku!"]

Rize's kagune were chasing me, all four tendrils behind me. I moved to the left, one of her kagune tails removing a chunk of my arm, causing me to drop the phone.

She continued to chase me at a brisk pace, forcibly stepping on my phone and shattering it.

[Rize: "Putting up a fight, huh? ...Remember your place, human."]

She lunged at me once again. Her kagune came in all directions, leaving me no room to dodge.

 _If I go towards her, she'll just bite me. To the right or left, I'll be stabbed. I can't go backwards, because there's no way for me to outrun her kagune. Up and down is out of the_ _picture as her kagune can cover my movement..._

I ducked downwards once more, two of the tendrils directly above my head. Her kagune was rushing towards my feet, leaving me no choice but to jump towards the gap in between the kagune above my head and at my feet.

My leg got caught as the rest of my body made it out. Rize's kagune went straight through my leg, sending immense pain all throughout my body.

Unable to run any longer, I stumbled on the rubble made by our fight. Another one of her kagune went through my left shoulder, sending yet another shock of pain, blood spurting out all over her.

[Rize: "How unfortunate. You worked so hard... but all you had to do was sit back and let me eat you."]

She licked the blood on her arm, staring at me with her kakugan.

I collapsed, leaning against the debris of the broken construction site.

[Rize: "The harder they fight back, the more _delicious_ they are."]

Rize jumped towards me one more time, mouth wide open.

My life flashed before my eyes. It was as if she were stuck in mid-air, arms reaching for me. I stared at her with no sense of life left in my eyes.

 _I managed to mess it all up again. It doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that I'll change, or that I'll stop being weak and fend for myself. My death... is inevitable. The world just wants me to die so badly._

Everything had frozen in time. Rize was stuck in that lunging motion of hers, baring her teeth at me. A grotesque sight it was. I couldn't do anything but close my eyes and wait for the embrace of death.

I shut my eyes for what seemed like minutes.

 _What... what's happening? I'm supposed to die... just let me die already, dammit!_

 ** _SNAP!_**

A screeching noise that resembled the clashing of metal echoed throughout the construction site.

I looked up and saw steel beams falling, about to land on top of Rize and I.

All of a sudden, time unfroze, and what was supposed to be Rize savoring my flesh, was replaced with steel beams crushing her mid-flight. My entire lower half of my body was rendered paralyzed, Rize's guts splattered all over me.

Unable to take the excruciating pain any longer, I blacked out, unconscious from all the blood pouring out of my body.

 _W-what... the hell... is happening...?!_

 _Eto... please. I'm... sorry._

 **5 Minutes Before**

 _Dammit! What was that call?! Don't tell me Kaneki got involved in something dangerous again...!_

 _He said something about a ghoul, and that he was near a construction site by Anteiku. Kaneki sounded like he was in the middle of running, so I have to hurry and find him._

 _...Fuck! I don't have time to waste. I'm all the way in the 13th ward, where the Aogiri hideout is. I can't risk anything happening to Kaneki, so I'll have to use my kakuja as the fastest means of travel._

I leapt on top of a building with my kagune, and transformed into my gigantic kakuja form.

 _I don't care if people see me. Kaneki's safety is way more important to me than anything else in the world right now._

As I flew across Tokyo, the citizens shrieked and ran at the mere sight of me, calling for the CCG, who were also too intimidated to face me.

I sped across Anteiku, where I saw police cars going towards the construction site.

 _I can't let them take him away... I have to get there first._

As I got closer to my destination, more and more smoke from fallen debris clouded my vision.

 _What the hell happened here? There's entire buildings and machinery in tiny pieces..._

 _Kaneki should be somewhere here. He has to be alive, buried under all the rubble. If I just follow the smell of his blood, I should be able to find him before the cops do._

I removed my kakuja, and found a trail of blood that smelled like Kaneki. I followed it, running as fast as I could, until I stumbled onto a pair of mangled bodie _s,_ crushed by a steel beam lying on top of them.

I walked closer, inspecting the area. I found Kaneki, unconscious, with blood all over his body.

 _He... he can't be dead. Kaneki's lived through getting stabbed through the gut, h-he should be able to live through this... right?_

In a panic, and tears suddenly streaming down my face, I ran to his battered body and put my ahead against his chest.

 _Please... please, let there be something. Anything!_

 _* **ba-dump***_

My heart rose, and my uncontrollable sobbing stopped.

 _If... if there's a god out there, I thank you for this miracle. He's still alive. My beloved can still be saved._

 _...I have to act fast, though. I can't lose sight of myself and become psychotic like last time. I have to stay calm and collected, and Kaneki will come back to me. ...I know he will._

I took a deep breath and looked further. I saw a ghoul with purple hair, lying beneath the steel beams and on top of Kaneki, her body crushed, and her face deformed.

 _It's... the binge eater. Rize. ...I knew I should've done something about that bitch. I just knew that she would have done something._

My anger began to boil up, but I overcame and suppressed it.

 _I have to save Kaneki first. I'll take both of them in my kakuja and head to Kanou's lab. He usually heads there when he's finished at work, meaning he's always experimenting in his laboratory during the night._

I transformed into my kakuja once more, exerting a large amount of energy. I grabbed Kaneki and Rize carefully, and gently put them inside of my mouth.

As I leapt into the air, I could have sworn I saw something in the corner of my eye. At the top of one of the skyscrapers, I saw something wearing a clown mask.

 _...What the hell? I'm sure I saw that exact same thing before. ...But I can't remember when, or where. It just reminded me of an uncanny feeling._

I quickly disregarded the "clown", and flew past Anteiku once again, watching the police survey the area. The people of Tokyo looked up into the night sky, seeing a monstrous ghoul instead of the stars.

 _I'll be on the news for this, but the CCG will be on edge trying to find out what I was up to. ...They'll never imagine that the fearsome leader of Aogiri Tree would have a human she cared for, enough to give up her own life for him. That's just how dense humanity is._

I reached the abandoned warehouse where Kanou's lab was located, and crashed into the ground, signaling that I was here.

I removed my kakuja, exhausted, and carried both Kaneki's and Rize's bloody bodies with me.

 _Kanou works as a doctor by day, meaning he should know how to operate on humans. I brought Rize too, just in case he wanted to use her._

I kicked open the trapdoor, and Kanou turned to look at me, surprised.

[Kanou: "Hm? What have you come here for?"]

[Eto: "I-I... I really need your help. Please."]

I laid down both bodies softly on the cold floor, and bowed my head towards the ground.

[Kanou: "Hmph. I'll help you, but tell me the details."]

I felt delighted, and quickly rose my head.

[Eto: "This... this boy. Please, find a way to save him. ...He's on the verge of death."]

I laid both bodies on Kanou's working table, where he operated on his experiments.

[Kanou: "This boy... he's not a ghoul. Why are you saving a human?"]

I stammered and tried to regain my grasp on the situation.

[Eto: "It's... complicated. Please, just do what you have to do. I don't care what kind of things you try, as long as Kaneki is alive... then, I'll be happy."]

The doctor smiled, amused.

[Kanou: "I see. ...But the condition of this boy is far from saving, unfortunately."]

My heart sank, and my world turned into darkness.

[Eto: "What... what do you mean? You have to be able to do something, _anything_!"]

Kanou examined both bodies further, and picked up a couple of tools.

[Kanou: "I'm saying that there are no known methods to save a human in this type of condition. The damage, plus the blood loss, it's a miracle he's still breathing."]

I remained silent. My vision turned pitch black, and I felt I was going to pass out at any moment.

[Kanou: "But, there is _one_ way for him to live."]

A dim light appeared, curing my vision from its demise.

[Kanou: "...And that, is if I implant this ghoul's kakuhou into this boy."]

My heart jumped again. I could barely even think straight. A combination of mixed feelings swirled in my head, conflicted at the thought of Kaneki being subject to Kanou's experiment.

[Eto: "...If, if that's the only option... then... do it. Like you've said, I won't question the morality of your work."]

 _Considering the results of Kanou's other experiments, the operation won't be successful. At most, Kaneki will be reduced to a creature, incapable of human thought. The thought of this outcome makes me shiver, but it's best to try than let Kaneki die._

He smiled, content with my decision.

[Kanou: "I'll begin the operation. While I work, tell me about what's happened, and what exactly this boy means to you."]

I accepted his orders, and grabbed a chair and sat next to the doctor while he worked.

I talked about how Kaneki and I met, and how much I loved him. I told him about today's events and how this happened. Kanou remained silent until I finished my story.

[Kanou: "...Interesting. Very interesting. A half-ghoul, and a human, who live together in coexistence. The thought of something like that gives hope to even someone like me."]

I didn't quite understand his words, so I sat silently and watched him work his meticulous magic. I didn't know what he was doing, but Kanou seemed to be very experienced. After all, he had worked on many other prototypes before this.

 _...I don't know what will make this different from all the other experiments. Odds are, Kaneki will just be a failure like the rest. The small chance that Kaneki makes it out alive and normal, is extremely unlikely. ...But, just that small chance is acceptable, if it means avoiding his death._

Kanou continued to perform the surgery throughout the entire night, and I silently cried myself to sleep in his lab.

 **The Morning After**

I awoke to Kanou shaking me. My eyes were red upon waking up, probably because I had eerie nightmares in my sleep. The pure panic of last night was enough for me to faint, and if Kaneki didn't survive his surgery, then... my life would be completely empty.

I was completely on edge, being wide awake even though I just woke up seconds ago.

[Eto: "Wh-what happened...? Was it... successful?"]

Kanou pointed towards the table he was working on, where Kaneki lied, breathing with a tube connected to his mouth.

I felt a surge of relief, and happiness as if I hadn't felt it in years. It was like pure bliss, but I knew that the operation had to come with a couple of setbacks.

[Kanou: "It was... successful, to say the least. I'm still not entirely sure, but things seem to be on the bright side."]

He turned to the left of his lab, pointing at one of the containers.

[Kanou: "...The binge eater lived as well, but in a worse condition. Her kakuhou seems to be great for making artificial ghouls, so I'll be using her for further experimentation."]

The doctor turned back to the unconscious Kaneki.

[Kanou: "...I'm sure you're already aware of the results. Your loved one, Kaneki, is now an artificial half-ghoul. He won't be able to return to his normal lifestyle, but you'll be by his side to support him, won't you?"]

Tears poured from my eyes once more. I held Kaneki's hand tightly, laying my head against his chest.

[Eto: "...T-Thank you... thank you so much."]

Kanou smiled, proud of his work.

[Kanou: "Not only have I completed my first successful prototype, but I've also discovered an interesting side of ghouls. Who knew you, the leader of Aogiri, could feel such love towards a human?"]

He sighed quietly and grinned to himself.

[Kanou: "...That just proves that escaping the birdcage is possible."]

I continued to sob uncontrollably, letting my emotions run wild.

 _Things... things will be rough for Kaneki. He never did anything to deserve living a ghoul's life. But, as long as he's alive, by my side, I'll make sure he's able to stand on his own two feet. I'll teach him to become accustomed to a ghoul's lifestyle. It'll be tough, but knowing Kaneki, I know he'll work through it._

 _...That's just the type of person he is. The Kaneki I know and love won't disappear. If I'm with him, I know we'll be able to prevail. ...We'll make it through._

 _Together._

 ** _Chapter 12 ~ Depravity_**

 **END**


	13. Atrophy

**One Day After Chapter 12**

 _Where... am I? Am I dead? Is this heaven, or hell_...?

 _Everything is pure white. A lucid dream? It_ _feels... surreal._

All of a sudden, a humanoid entity appeared before me.

Purple locks flowed out of thin air, her body materializing from seemingly nowhere.

 _...This is definitely a dream. Why else would Rize be with me in this blank space?_

She grasped my throat, looking deep into my eyes.

 _I can't_ _move. I_ _t feels just like it did before..._

Her kakugan shined, and she was close to devouring me again.

I could do nothing but watch.

 _...Why do I have to experience this again? I've had enough already..._

Like before, a loud snapping noise resembling the steel beams rung throughout my ears.

With that sound, my eyes opened. The sudden change of environment left me dizzy and confused.

[Eto: "K-Kaneki! You're finally awake...!"]

I looked to my right, and saw Eto gripping my hand, her eyes red and filled with pain.

 _What... the hell happened? How long was I out for? What is this place?_

I couldn't speak, as there was a tube connected to my mouth. I inspected myself, and noticed that all my wounds from before had disappeared.

 _Did Eto do that kagune manipulation thing again? She told me that was a one-time thing, because it took too much strength from her. ...Well, it's not like I could ask her anyway._

[Eto: "Kanou told me I could take off the tube when you wake up. Just stay calm, okay? I'll fill you in on what's happened."]

 _I remembered everything that had happened, up to the point where I knocked out from blood loss. I assume the phone call I made actually worked._

Eto carefully removed the tube, instructing me not to move.

[Eto: "...You have a kakugan now, just like me. It's on the opposite side, though."]

 _Kakugan? What was she talking about?_

[Kaneki: "...Eto, tell me what's happened."]

 _I felt physically stronger than usual. Aren't you supposed to be weak after having your body thrown around like a ragdoll? ..._ _What's going on here?_

Eto took a deep breath and wore an unusually sorrowful expression on her face.

[Eto: "I found you and Rize on the verge of death, crushed under steel beams that had fell on top of you two. Luckily, you were still alive, so I took you here."]

I examined the area more thoroughly, and saw strange creatures being kept in containers all throughout the room. There were doctors' equipment scattered all over the place.

[Eto: "...This is Dr. Kanou's lab. He experiments on ghouls and humans, trying to find ways to create artificial ghouls. I got him to join Aogiri as an asset for us."]

 _Artificial ghouls...? It's interesting, but it's none of my business._

[Eto: "There wasn't a way to save you, except for having Kanou implant Rize's kakuhou into you. Even though the chances of it happening were one in a million... it was successful."]

She caught her breath before speaking once more.

[Eto: "You are no longer a human. You're an artificial half-ghoul, the only other half-ghoul in this world besides... me."]

My mind couldn't process this information correctly. I had to repeat what she said over and over inside of my head until I could finally understand.

 _How could I go from a mere human to a ghoul overnight? I'm supposed to be... dead! This... this can't be happening. How am I supposed to live my life now? Every part of my lifestyle will have to change..._

[Kaneki: "H-How do you know for sure that I've turned into a ghoul?! I just woke up...!"]

[Eto: "You were out for one day after the operation was finished. All the results show that you're a half-ghoul now, according to Kanou. And still, you've got one kakugan on your left eye."]

 _No way...! I'm really a ghoul, just like Eto? I was a normal human, living my life, and then my world suddenly flips upside-down from seemingly nowhere. ...I have to confirm that what Eto has said is true._

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... bring me some food. ...Human food."]

 _Ghouls aren't able to digest man-made foods, so I can try to find out if I have some humanity left in me._

[Eto: "I knew you'd ask that. I bought some from a nearby store just a while ago."]

She reached into a plastic bag and rummaged around a bit, eventually pulling out a convenience store sandwich and some snacks.

[Eto: "Just saying in advance, the taste might be really, really bad... because ghoul taste buds are different from humans."]

Eto handed me the sandwich, and I slowly tore off the wrapping and grasped it with both of my hands.

I held it up to my face and looked at it carefully, swallowing.

 _If... if what Eto said is really true, then I won't be able to eat this sandwich. I can't believe my life has reached this point, but I have no choice but to accept and go through with it._

 _One bite. Just one bite is all I need to determine what's left of my future. One bite... to mark the end of my humanity._

I lifted the sandwich towards my mouth and hastily bit it, wanting to end the anticipation as soon as possible.

Before I could even chew it, a sour stench similar to rotten cheese filled my mouth.

 _What the hell...?! This bread tastes like a dry sponge, and the cheese doesn't even taste like cheese... Not to mention the ham tastes like_... _like raw intestines from the carcass of a dead animal left to rot for weeks...!_

I gagged and immediately spat out the horrible contents of the sandwich out of my throat.

I dropped the sandwich on the floor, throwing up and coughing.

Eto looked away, knowing that this would happen.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto... this sandwich... I-It's expired, right...?"]

She sighed and looked at the food on the ground.

[Eto: "Nope... that's just how it tastes to ghouls. Well, that's how it's _supposed_ to taste. I'm a naturally made half-ghoul, so I'm able to digest man-made foods. Although, it does taste much worse than human flesh."]

 _So that explains why Eto decides to eat humans instead of normal food... She's able to digest it, but her taste buds must make it taste just as horrible as that sandwich did._

[Kaneki: "...S-so, now what? Just what am I supposed to do now...? I can't keep living a normal life like this, can I?"]

Eto began to search through her bags once more.

[Eto: "Don't worry. I've already decided that I'm going to teach you the ghoul lifestyle. ...This includes how to fight, eating humans, and developing a kagune."]

She pulled out a kitchen knife from her bag and continued to speak.

[Eto: "It'll be tough for you, but there's no choice. You have to learn how to adapt, or you won't survive. I'll be here for you the whole time, so if you have any problems or questions, you can just ask me."]

I gulped, anxiously looking at the knife Eto held in her hand.

 _I hoped that it didn't have to come to this. My life just got that much harder, but I should be grateful as I would have been dead by now. Plus, I've got Eto to rely on, so I'll be able to make it through. The hardest part of this should be eating humans, but... I know I have to resolve myself. It'll take me a while for me to get used to that. Just the thought of eating my own kind makes me want to vomit again._

[Eto: "...And we don't have any time to waste. Let's go ahead and test your physical capabilities first."]

[Kaneki: "W-Wait! What do you mean...!"]

Eto sighed, already realizing how long it would take for me to get used to my new body.

[Eto: "Things like knives and other man-made objects can't penetrate a ghoul's skin. I want to test how this affects an artificial half-ghoul. ...And don't worry, it won't hurt. You're a ghoul now, after all."]

 _Just her saying that I'm a ghoul makes me shudder. This is all happening way too fast... I just can't catch a break._

[Kaneki: "O-Okay... I trust you."]

I lifted up my shirt, exposing my abdomen. Eto gripped the kitchen knife in her hand, preparing to stab it straight into me.

I braced myself and gritted my teeth, as I felt the cold, hard metal clash against my skin.

 _What...? The knife wasn't able to penetrate, and instead it broke on contact. I felt almost no pain, only a small touch against my abdomen._

[Eto: "Yep, pretty standard for all ghouls. This confirms that you don't have much humanity left in you."]

[Kaneki: "...Way to make me feel even worse, Eto. I've had enough already..."]

She smiled, trying to improve the atmosphere.

[Eto: "We've still got more things to do, though. You've got Rize's kagune, and it's said to be a really powerful rinkaku. I'll try to see if you can unleash it."]

[Kaneki: "Oh, yeah. Rize's kagune was pretty strong. It was almost impossible for me to fight against her."]

Eto's smile turned into a tiny frown.

[Eto: "...But, I don't wanna hurt you to force your kagune out. There's another way to force a ghoul to unleash their kagune, and that is through starvation."]

 _It's not like I'm bothered by that or anything. I don't want to eat humans anyway..._

[Kaneki: "...It'd be hard to get me to eat my own kind, wouldn't it?"]

Eto chuckled, amused at my remark.

[Eto: "I've eaten plenty of ghouls myself. And, you aren't even human anymore. I'm trying my hardest to get that ingraved into my head, and you should too."]

I gulped, afraid of my impending future.

 _I'm so glad Eto is here for me... because I wouldn't know what to do at all. I am a ghoul now. She's here to make me accept that fact, to make me realize that I have to change._

[Kaneki: "Well, lead the way. Teach me what I have to do as... as a ghoul."]

Eto smiled painfully, attempting to hide her pain.

[Eto: "Y-Yeah... for now, let's just get out of this place. I'll explain everything about ghouls, from what makes them different to humans to how they fit into human society."]

Eto proceeded to grab my hand, gently pulling me out of the work table I was lying on.

We exited out through some sort of secret trapdoor, exposing me to sunlight that I felt like I hadn't seen in years.

[Eto: "First things first... let's talk about the bare minimum needed for a ghoul to survive. You already know that ghouls can only eat human flesh, but you're not really filled in with the details of it."]

 _That's right... Eto never really told me about how she lived her life as a ghoul. I guess she never needed to, but now she has a reason._

I nodded my head.

[Eto: "Ghouls only have to eat about one full human body for each month. If not, then you'll starve. ...And the sensation of a ghoul starving is almost indescribable. It's unbearable, but you're already starving yourself anyway. It's easier to learn through first-hand experience."]

 _A starving ghoul... I remember that day when Eto had to eat a part of me to regain control of herself. It was almost as if she became a primal animal, using only her instinct to find a way to survive. ...And now, I'm gonna have to know what that's like myself. Just thinking about it makes me shudder, but I know I have to do it._

[Eto: "There is one thing that ghouls can consume besides human flesh. ...It's coffee. Don't ask me why, but if you're ever in trouble, then you can eat a coffee cube to replenish yourself a small amount. It doesn't contribute to your energy as much as humans do, so you're better off just eating humans and drinking coffee as a pastime."]

 _That's strange, but fascinating at the same time. It seems there's at least one thing that ghouls and humans have in common, and of all things, it's coffee._

As we walked towards our home together, Eto continued to explain ghoul physiology and how they differ from humans.

 _Let me try to get this straight. Ghouls have increased physical capability and defense, and have something called a kagune. Eto also told me about a kakuja, and how eating another ghoul's kakuhou makes them develop it. It's scary to think about, but I might have to get my hands dirty like that. I can't take things easy anymore. I might have to live a ghoul's violent lifestyle. I've even been thinking of helping Eto with her mission by working with Aogiri. I don't want to be a hindrance. I want to help Eto, and now I have the power to do that._

Eto and I finally returned home, and I slumped onto the bed.

[Kaneki: "Ugh... just what the hell is going on with my life?"]

Eto laid beside me, arms splayed out across the mattress.

[Eto: "...I don't know. But coming from my perspective, your life is almost like a tragedy. It's amazing how many horrible things can happen to someone who didn't even do anything wrong."]

I sighed, contemplating what I've done to deserve this kind of life.

 _So many near death experiences... so much pain. My mother died in front of me, and I was never able to feel satisfied with my life. The only good thing that came out of this life was Eto, but if you take her out of the picture, there's only suffering to be found._

[Kaneki: "...I just wanted to live a normal life with you. Nothing more."]

We laid still on the bed. Eto slowly reached for my hand.

[Eto: "...Is it my fault?"]

I turned to face her.

[Kaneki: "...What?"]

Eto was covering her eyes with her other arm, tightly gripping my fingers with her other.

[Eto: "Is it because you're involved with such a dangerous person that your life became like this? You... you could've never met me and nothing would've ever happened to you. It's... it's all my fault, isn't it?"]

 _What...? Eto of all people should know how much I value her. Nothing in the world is worth more to me than her. Are my circumstances really that bad that she's beginning to blame herself?_

I released my hand from Eto's grip and brought it up to her face, gently caressing her cheek.

[Kaneki: "...It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault. If you weren't here with me, my life would have been dull, colorless, _lifeless._ So don't ever take the blame for yourself. It's not you who's wrong. What's wrong is... this **world.** "]

Tears began to stream down Eto's face.

[Eto: "...S-so what? I always try my best to keep a strong face. You're saying you just have to deal with whatever life throws at you? Something like that is so, so... cruel. I just can't take watching you writhe in pain..."]

I remained silent, allowing Eto to finally show her true self for once.

[Eto: "I know you've told me that I've done enough. ...And I have. I've been trying my best, every single day to make you happy. But it's all for nothing, all because fate said it otherwise?"]

I pulled Eto's face close to mine and looked at her, confidently smiling.

[Kaneki: "...I want to become stronger. I want to become useful. If I get stronger, then I could take anything life throws at me, right? ...So just stay by my side. I know that no matter what, we'll be able to pull through if we're together. Just... pull through."]

Eto sobbed quietly, turning her head away from me once more.

[Kaneki: "I'm tired of being weak. This time, I'll take everything head-on. I'm a ghoul, so I should be capable of doing at least this."]

[Eto: "...What do you mean? What are you trying to do?"]

I smiled, looking upwards towards the ceiling.

[Kaneki: "I'm saying that I want to learn how to fight, so I could join Aogiri and help you with your goal. ...That's what I want to do now."]

Eto stood up, looking at me with tears in her eyes.

[Eto: "W-What about your dreams...! You had a whole life in front of you, waiting to be claimed! You can't just give up and risk your life for something as listless as..."]

[Kaneki: "I want to do this. I mean, I'm not necessarily human anymore. It's not like I could keep chasing my goals, even if I wanted to. I have to come up with something new to do, and I've decided to do this. I want to not only save ghoul-kind, but save _you_ as well."]

I looked at her with a newfound determination in my eyes.

[Kaneki: "Just let me do this, Eto. I've been able to help you outside of your ghoul life, but now I'll be able to assist you during your time as a ghoul, too."]

Eto directed her gaze downwards, thinking about what I've said.

[Eto: "...So you want me to teach you how to fight so you could directly help me with my goal? You're just going to throw away what you had left of your human counterpart?"]

I chuckled, amused.

[Kaneki: "Eto... I've already lost everything. I don't have anything left to lose, except for you. If I'm able to do at least this, I'll feel like... like I'm actually useful."]

A grim silence remained in the room.

[Eto: "...Okay. If that's what you really want. I'm just warning you now, but the path to becoming stronger is rigorous and difficult."]

[Kaneki: "...I'm ready for that. I've been through so much already. I might as well take everything head on, now."]

Eto wiped the tears off of her face.

[Eto: "I'll make sure to guide you along the way. ...But, if you ever get into danger doing this, I... I won't be able to forgive you."]

I smiled once more, attempting to show what was left of my humanity.

[Kaneki: "As long as you're with me, I know I'll be able to keep on living. And even if I do get myself in danger, I'll be able to protect myself. ...And if I can't do that, then you'll come for me, won't you?"]

Eto tried to put on a smile similar to mine, even with her face still riddled with traces of tears.

[Eto: "Y-yeah. It makes me happy to know that you'll be even closer to me, but... just be careful. You've already seen how violent ghouls can be. ...And it'll only proceed to get worse as you become stronger."]

 _I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I thought about all of my options, and it seemed this was the only real outcome for me. It'll be dangerous, but also interesting to see how it plays out. I hope I'll be able to live up to my confidence, though. It'd be strange if I said all these things and ended up dying instantly._

[Kaneki: "I've already resolved myself. All you have to do now is stay by my side, and show me what it means to be a ghoul."]

Eto slumped over on the bed next to me.

[Eto: "...Yeah, I've got you. It... it kind of makes me happy that you'll be able to see how I am as a ghoul. You've only ever seen me as a human."]

[Kaneki: "It only makes sense for me to know what you're like outside of home. I love every single part of you. ...So I want to be able to appreciate each individual part as well."]

Eto blushed, hiding her face.

[Eto: "It'll be weird having you watch me become psychotic and monstrous, killing humans and stuff."]

[Kaneki: "...I like you even when you're doing that."]

[Eto: "K-Kaneki... you're so dumb sometimes."]

I giggled, feeling genuinely happy.

[Kaneki: "But I'm telling the truth!"]

Eto continued to stay silent, too embarassed to face me.

 _It's rare to see her like this, as she always seems so strong and determined. But I guess when it comes to my well-being, her guard is lowered which allows me to see beautiful things like this._

All of a sudden, Eto turned around and pounced on me, straddling my hips.

[Kaneki: "E-Eto...?! W-what are you...?!"]

She leaned down and pressed her lips against mine, her warm body still laying on my torso.

Eto continued to explore the insides of my mouth, her tongue gently moving against my own.

The soft, warm embrace of her lips continued for what felt like hours, until we could no longer breathe.

Eto finally released her lips from mine, a string of saliva connecting our tongues.

[Eto: "D-Don't forget... don't forget your place in this relationship."]

She breathed heavily, her face hot and dripping with sweat.

 _I... I had almost forgotten who I was messing with. I lost track of who was the dominant one and got too ahead of myself..._

Her petite body was still on top of mine as she looked at me, blushing and out of breath.

 _But... that actually felt really good. I want to do it again._

Taking advantage of her cooldowns, I turned her around and pinned her against the mattress, my body now on top of hers.

Eto's body was so _lewd_ , sweat dripping down every crevice of her defenseless body, as she laid in front of me, unable to fight back. She looked at me with eyes of contempt, her cheeks still flushed with red, and her tongue still lying out of her mouth.

I gripped both of her hands with mine, and intertwined our fingers together, leaning in for the kill.

Her lips welcomed mine, my tongue intertwining with hers. Eto's voice leaked out, soft moans filling my ears with ecstasy.

 _This... is my girlfriend. My soon-to-be wife. I can do anything I want to her._

I continued my relentless attack, not giving her a chance to relax. Her body convulsed, shaking inherently as she embraced the warmth of my lips.

 _What the hell is going on...? I haven't felt this way towards Eto before. ...But she would have allowed me to do this at any time I wanted._

I gripped the softness of her hands even tighter, releasing my lips from hers only for short breaths, then going in again after seeing her exasperated face.

 _This is wrong... but it feels so good. I really shouldn't be doing this. I should just... stop before things get out of hand._

I lightened my grip on her hands and lifted my face up, away from hers. I looked at her face, her expression glazed and confused.

Both of us were unable to speak, and Eto seemed to be in another world, her breaths short and quick and fluids dripping out of her mouth.

I removed myself off of her and laid beside her.

[Kaneki: "...E-Eto, are you... okay?"]

There was no response. I looked at Eto's face once more.

She wore the happiest, most satisfied expression that I had ever seen. Her hair was messy and her eyes dazed, her breaths still short-lived. Her kakugan was active in her right eye for some reason.

 _Uh... I guess I should leave her alone for now. I think I broke her._ _She did tell me that ghoul's lose control of their kakugan when over stimulated. ...But I didn't know she meant it like that._

I picked up her petite body easier than when I was human, and positioned her to the opposite side of the bed.

I laid beside her and closed my eyes, thinking about what had just occurred.

A sudden warmth filled my hand, as I felt Eto's soft fingers wrap around mine.

I looked at her, her forearm covering her eyes. I could still see soft tears of joy streaming down her face and an ever-so-happy smile.

 _Well. I guess she's fine._

I drifted off to sleep, with Eto's body still trembling due to stimulation.

I wasn't sure if she was able to sleep that night.

 _ **Chapter 13 ~ Atrophy**_

 **END**


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